F U N D R A I S I N G
I have always heard the crazy miraculous fundraising stories but they always seemed unattainable or just another cool story heard. I have always heard the scary and frightening stories of doubt and opportunities being shut down through fundraising but again was another world I felt I couldn’t relate too. The World Race has opened my eyes wide to this entire experience of complete and utter dependence on none of my own control. This idea of asking need out of a humble stance while kicking your pride and ego to the ground and trusting in the help of others is a concept that goes completely against all grain of my self-empowering, self-dream-driven, all-American-culturing (hyphen producing) nature. How do I rewrite my culture? How do I let go and just trust? How do I stay quiet and just know everything will adjust itself? I don’t, but these words gently speak in response. “Be still, and know that I am God.”
Standing on my awkward legs and leaning on others for support is a stance that allows clearer visibility and sensitivity to new revelations. Fundraising has been more than just preparation of finances it has been a renovation project on my heart. Through fundraising I have learned a lot about the heart, your heart, my heart and the heart of God. The heart of the preparer is a title I wish I could sit and comfortably describe to you. But, I’m constantly erasing and scratching in my non-eloquent words to paint the image of the kind of hearts I have seen these past few months. Amazing me the most is that the condition of our heart never determines the value of it. I feel most days unworthy of other people’s generosity. I feel unqualified to carry the weight of breaking world culture barriers. I feel selfish, unmotivated and empty. I feel timid of speaking and fearful of next steps. I doubt a lot. But I’ve seen you eager to grab my hand and speak truth. I’ve seen you chase away the dark clouds of fear. I’ve seen you jumping at the chance to financially support. I’ve seen you share the prayer need with others. I’ve seen you overcome doubt. I’ve seen you trust God and generously give. I’ve seen you step out in blind faith fearlessly. I’ve see you boldly reject what the world says we should be like. I’ve seen you love big in return. I’ve seen God’s heart for me through you. Thank you.
To the readers, the supporters, the teammates, the family, the best friends, the brothers and sisters, the grandparents, the prayer warriors, I am beyond grateful for you. I stand confidently with a new awing glimpse of Jesus, a shield dome of peace and an endurance to keep running through this preparation stage from you. Thank you.
