At training camp they told us, "try to blog twice a week, if not more. Your supporters want to hear from you. Blogging is the most effective way to fundraise."
I thought, "Oh yea, I can do that! I'll have so many stories to tell. I love blogging. Go blogging. I want to be a featured blogger! I want people to hear what God is doing through me, what I am learning. I COULD BE WORLD RACE INTERNET FAMOUS!"
At first blogging was hard because we had to walk an hour to catch the bus into town to go to an internet cafe. Then it was hard because I always felt that I needed to have some deep, concise story with a lesson involved to blog about. I mean, that was the style of all my previous blogs and the numbers were showing that people read them. Gotta keep that pattern up, then.
After Costa Rica, the blogs were just not flowing. I didn't want to sit down and think hard enough to come up with something deep and meaningful. I was lucky if I got out two blogs a month. I was usually pretty proud of my blogs when I finally did write them. But clearly something isn't connecting to my audience, because those numbers are just not what they used to be.
So what's up blogosphere? What am I doing or not doing? What do you want to see?
Should I drop the pretenses and just write whatever comes to mind? Man do I have some stories to tell.
Should I post pictures like my squadmates? A lot of them actually post my pictures rather than waiting for me to post my own (they are all on Facebook, however).
Should I keep not wanting to blog? Honestly, it's becoming a pride thing for me. I want to get lots of views. I want to get lots of comments. I want to think my part of this race is meaningful.
So there it is. My biggest struggle on this race: my pride. More specifically: wanting recognition.
I want to be noticed. I want to be acknowledged. I want to know I am valued, that my opinion is valued. I want my blog to be shared as something of note by my squad mates.
He is all I need. Or should be. I'm still working on learning that one completely.
Here is what I want from you, dear faithful blog readers (the few of you that remain). Send me messages. Ask me questions you want answered in my blog. Prompt me to tell you stories. I want to drop all pretenses and just express myself in any/every way y'all want to read. I'm not going to blog anymore for me. I want to blog for you. I know God is using me here, so I know He will use whatever I post. If you want pictures, I'll post pictures. If you want stories from our crazy adventures on off days, or the ridiculous details of travel days, or descriptions of the lovely people I have met along this journey, just let me know. Comments or emails ([email protected]) or whatever. This is for you guys now. And more importantly, for God.
-k
