So I had a very interesting experience the other day. It all started with losing my wallet.
Now, those of you that know me for ANY length of time, know how crazy this sort of thing makes me. I think it stems from having a good memory. I can remember ALL SORTS of random things about people and my past. I can go as far as to tell people what they wore and what we were doing the very first time that we met. I don’t know what it is about my memory, but it is very good. . . which is a blessing and a curse at times.
Anyway, I think that BECAUSE my memory is usually so good, when I forget things, I go crazy. I usually never forget where I put things, so when I lose something, especially something ESSENTIAL like my WALLET (with all my info and credit cards etc etc) I go insane. I get angry, furiously angry, because I can’t remember where I put it. It’s really an issue, I know, and I think that is why it seems to happen so often.
For awhile, I was doing really well at letting this kind of stuff go, because I would consciously make the effort to NOT get so upset. I would stop myself when I could feel myself getting angry, and I would pray something along the lines of, “God you know EXACTLY where my wallet/phone/keys/shirt is, and I would appreciate it if you would help me find it.”
And usually, that would help. If anything, it would force me to calm down, and re-evaluate my situation and the lost item would shortly be found afterward.
This time, however, was very different. I prayed, and still couldn’t find my wallet. “But God,” I reasoned, “I am driving to Ft. Lauderdale tomorrow, and I need gas. Please let me find it! Help me remember where I left it.”
And I still couldn’t find it. So needless to say, when my prayers weren’t answered, I reverted to my old nature, and began to get angry. I had torn apart my house and my car looking for my wallet. I called my best friend and asked her if she had seen me with it. I asked my roommate if I had left it in her car. Nothing. With each failed search, my anger grew.
So finally, it was 11 o’clock at night, and I decided to drive to work, (which is about a 30 minute drive away) to see if I had left it there.
I jumped on the interstate, and as I was about to pass the exit to where I had lunch that day (a restaurant named Duffy’s) I had a sudden inkling to pull off and check there. So I did. I pulled off the interstate, and at the stoplight, I asked myself, “Why would it be at Duffy’s? That’s ridiculous.” So instead of driving to the restaurant to check, I jumped back on the interstate and continued my drive to work.
I reached the exit where I work, and something inside me kept saying “Call Duffy’s. Call Duffy’s.”
FINE! So I reach for my cell phone and dial 411 and ask for the Duffy’s, blah blah. I finally get the manager on the line and I ask him: “Hey, did you happen to find a black wallet yesterday? With a beige cross on it?”
And he says, “Are you Kirsten George?”
Silence as I swallow hard. “Yes. I’ll be right there to pick it up.”
At this point, I had reached my work. I drove right on by. Hanging up the phone, I hear God’s stern (yet still loving) voice CLEARLY say: “You need to learn to listen to me.”
Gulp.
“Yes Lord,” I reply, but He didn’t stop there.
“If you are going to wander all over creation, and tell people that you’re going to allow the Holy Spirit to guide you and all of that, then you REALLY need to learn to listen to me.”
I’ve never been yelled at by God before. But I’m sure that this came pretty close.
I felt about two inches tall. How many times has God tried to get my attention, and I pawn it off as foolish thoughts?
What’s WORSE to think about, how often do I think foolish thoughts and try to pawn them off as GOD’S???
Yikes.
The flesh has gotten in my way for so long. This is a new experience, God speaking so clearly. But He has made it painfully clear that I need to listen to Him even when He’s NOT yelling at me. I need to learn to listen for that still small voice that can be so hard to hear in the midst of a tumultuous life. How valuable that skill would be for us as Christians to master. I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface.
So, I want to encourage you to learn to listen. I know that God speaks to us so often, but we have such a hard time hearing Him because we have gotten so good at drowning Him out. I’m not an expert in any way, but He seems to be interested in teaching me a very valuable skill that will apparently be necessary on the Race. If you have any ideas on how to fine tune this whole, “Hearing God” thing. . . please share.
Blessings to you this week my teammates!
~Kirsten
