I have always thought abandonment was a bad thing, we are taught by the world system and standards to accumulate stuff and make a name for ourselves. We are deceived in to chasing the American dream and catch it, and to stamp our name on everything.
But what if God wants to call us to something better and deeper and more fulfilling than the American dream? What if the Lord wants to transform us from the inside out? That’s what I believe the Lord will do in my life this year, I keep hearing him say Kirk, I’m going to make all things new in your life…….. Leave your past behind and trust me, I’m going to transform you.
How does God start to transform somebody?
Answer: Abandonment
There’s a quote in Seth Barnes book, Kingdom Journey’s rediscovering the lost spiritual discipline that says
“We cant be fully transformed in our own back yard, we have to journey and leave.”
This year in 2013, I have abandoned everything familiar in my life. God called me to leave my family, friends, quit my job and survive without an income and leave all the rest of my comforts from home behind, anything familiar and stable I left in the dust.
Is it easy?……..No! Not even the slightest bit, It’s painful!
I really think this first month in Mozambique God has been taking me through the process of abandonment and grieving the past seasons of my life.
I believe the Lord is starting to take me into brokenness, so that I would completely rely on Him and trust Him for everything.
This first month has been difficult for me. My time in here in Dondo has been full of spiritual attacks.
-The first time I was attacked in my sleep, everything went pitch black and it felt as if people were laughing and spinning me in my tent. It was a terrifying experience.
-There are days I’m plagued with doubt and ungodly thoughts.
-The woman of God who used to run this compound for 3 years caught malaria and suddenly died this week. She was only in her 30’s.
-Many of you know I have suffered from a herniated disk the past 3 ½ years, and that pain has suddenly come back after 4 months of no pain. I had believed God for healing at training camp back in October. I really believe this pain is a spiritual attack from the enemy to try and slow me down and stop me.
When it’s painful the natural reaction is to run from the pain, Here there is no where to run. Your forced to press into the pain and let God and others minister to you and trust God that He knows what is best for us.
The enemy doesn’t attack because were not doing anything, He attacks because everyday and everywhere we walk we love people and spread the gospel of Christ all over Mozambique and satan hates us for it. So then he tries to send his little attacks. But we rebuke him and all his evil works and then we worship and praise King Jesus!!!
Please pray for me and everyone that is on my squad.
-Pray that God would take the pain away in my lower back.
-Pray that I would continue to be bold and share the gospel everywhere I go and with everyone I come into contact with.
-Pray that God would walk me through my brokenness and I would die to myself everyday and surrender to His will.
