Greetings Reader,
As most of you know there were a few changes made to our squad as we entered into our third month here in Cambodia. Thankfully my team that had been together for the first two months stayed and we were fortunate to gain two new members.
Now, when you put 8 people together from 2 different countries and 7 states, there is going to be differences. No one gets along with everyone all of the time. However, when you put 8 women of God together, all desiring to accomplish the same goal… there is still going to be differences. We are all human and humans disagree.
Now I assure you that this sounds worse than it seems.
This month has been challenging, but lately God has been putting something on my heart. Now, the me from a couple months ago would have dismissed this notion the moment that it crossed my mind, but the me that it typing is different now. Not so different, but different none the less.
Of the people who know me personally, you know that I’m stubborn and independent. In fact the words “You’re just so independent.” Were that last words spoken to me by my mother before I left for this journey. I’m the kind of person that doesn’t ask for help much. I like to accomplish things alone and receive all the glory for myself. That’s not meant to sound arrogant, but if I can do something without the assistance of others, I will. People might tell me that I have an abundance of pride, which might be true, but I doubt it. (haha… that was a joke.)
This month there has been division in our team, minor, but it’s still there. Usually I wouldn’t get involved. I have a good relationships with the people on my team and I don’t want to be put in a situation where I become the litigator. However, our pesky Savior keeps on digging into me and forcing me to grow. This last week we have sat together as a team and have tried different exercises to help us come closer together. For my team time I didn’t want to do that. We all know where we have fallen short and being reminded of that everyday can be counter-productive.
During my time with the Lord I decided to read Philippians the joy chapter. I want more joy in my life and to bring more joy to my team. From my own perspective I’m usually full of joy, but being joyful and choosing it in every situation is completely different. So as I turn to Philippians and read I learned the entire first chapter is about unity. Paul states that the best way to stand against fear is to stand together. It’s not completely ironic that the reason the church in Philippi was formed was because of a bunch of God fearing women. How fitting. As I continued to read Paul continued to press for unity to stand firm, together. You see among us, followers of Jesus, there is a need. The need to be fulfilled by our Savoir. One of the ways he fills us is using others. “Iron sharpens Iron.” As the good book says.
Now I have discovered that to be true for me. Quoting scripture is just reciting words until God himself shows you what it means. And what it means for me is this. Me personally, I need to come to a place of desperate need. The place that I need these people around me almost as much as I need my Savior. I have come to know that I can only survive this race on my own, but I want to thrive and I can’t do that alone.
I need to pour into these women desperately and they need to do the same for me. No longer will I hide under the false pretense that I can do it on my own. I don’t simply want to accomplish this life changing opportunity. This month I thought God might have been silent, but now I know that He is pursuing me through the others around me. I can venture a guess, but I bet that is happening all over and we are all too blind or stubborn to see it.
Don’t discount the people around you. God is working on them just as much as He is working in you and it’s unwise to assume otherwise.
Thank you all who have sacrificed for me to be here. It will never go unnoticed.
With Gratitude,
Kirbie Head, World Racer
