Greetings Reader,
I just wanted to start off by saying that this (blogging/publicizing) is all new to me… an uncomfortable kind of new. In order to follow along now and all my future inquiries, you have to understand my reservations about displaying my private life for all to see. Many people would say that I have trust issues… what do I have to say to that??? Yeah, you’re right. I do.
None of my feelings are unfounded. I have legitimate reasons why I do the things that I do. It might not make sense to all, but hey, I don’t aim to please all. Just one. The one. So with knowing this, I hope you’re ready. I’m going to lay myself out there. Bare, for all to see. Many people know me, but few know my side of the story. Like I said, I have trust issues. I guess this is God’s way of helping me work through them. A kind of therapy that I’m not all together ok with. Oh well.
So what’s the first thing you need to know about me? Well, for starters my name is Kirbie and my story is pretty normal. I mean that’s to be expected right? There are only a few stories anyway it’s the presentation that makes the difference. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that I’m normal, (In fact I take great pride in being anything but.) however if you think about it, you’ve heard versions my life from friends and family. I’m just extremely regular and that’s ok.
Like many people in this day in age my parents divorced when I was young. I was almost 3 years old so it’s safe to say that division and I are friends. For a long time it’s all I knew. When I was five my mother remarried and every two years after she added a new member of the family till I was 12. At 9 years old my older sister and I went to live with my dad and his new wife after a less than amicable custody battle. To be quite honest, I don’t remember most of it. So I went from a large family to just my sister and I. A week before I turned 13 my step-mom left. She had been unfaithful. That was a huge betrayal. Time went by and I grew bitter and angry, but in turn God allowed me to see just how much he wanted me. More than I could fathom.
After my step-mom left, my dad was trying to provide, my sister was in her own little world and I was left alone in mine. I knew something was missing. I figured it was my family. Divorce had leaded me to abandon part of my family whilst the other part was taken away. So with that revelation I began to visit my mom and siblings. I was visited as often as I could. There I was engulfed in an overwhelming sense of peace. I didn’t know that then, but looking back I was relieved when I walked into that house. I had found what I was missing.
Now I was raised in church. Hands raised during worship, prayer before meals and bedtime, the works. Even as a child I knew that there was more to life than just me. I was always told that God existed and that he loved me. As a child I believed it. Now as an adult I know it. So when I felt alone, God is what I retreated to. I really needed to makes sense of the things that I couldn’t understand, but God only shows us one step at a time. (Just enough to make you go crazy at times.)
A few steps later I moved into my parents’ home and I was now the older sister. No longer the baby with no rules, but someone little someones looked up to. A lot of responsibility. I did my best. Those kids were my life line. When God was silent, they weren’t. In no small way, they helped save me. Saved me from a life of bitterness and seclusion. My brothers and sister never stopped loving and bugging me. For that I’m eternally grateful.
So now you know my background. I won’t go into too much detail right now, (If I did this would me by only blog.) but now you have a sense of where I came from. You may ask yourself why someone like me wants to go on The World Race. Good question. I guess the answer is that I want to. I want to see things I’ve never seen. I want to rely on God in a way I’ve never had to. I want to know true trust in Our Savoir. I guess I don’t want my story to be so regular; I want it to mean something more. To be honest I’m terrified of where that might lead, but if you know anything about being in Christ you know that we are called to be BOLD. To give up comfort and normalcy for his glory. I’m willing and I know he won’t disappoint.
Thanks for reading,
Kirbie Head, World Racer.
