I started writing someone on my squad an e-mail on the topic of prayer, fasting, & spiritual warfare. It soon evolved into a blog by accident. Here is what I have to share;
I have been reading, praying, & contemplating the topic of Spiritual Warfare since our team leader brought it up a couple weeks ago . I casted the seriousness of fasting for myself aside & did not take the time to seriously pray if the Lord wanted me to fast. I have fasted only a few times in my life. I now notice I fast what is easy for me to fast. I have never wanted to make the “big sacrifice”. I looked for a way to compromise my fasting commitment every time. God knew it & I knew it, but no one else. B/c I have things I love which I do not wish to give up.
What am I holding onto that I do not want to give up? A lot. Here comes the shallowness–I love pampering myself. I love material things. I love comforts. I love being entertained. I love my possessions. I love my thoughts–because they are mine. No one can take them from me & no one can control them. Do I love all my loves–all this–more than God? I am ashamed to type the answer my flesh knows is true.
What about you? Is God opening my eyes to His Truth just for my own gain? No. I think God wants to teach me about fasting, but He also wants to teach you. Again I ask, “What about you?” Are you running to idols instead of to God? Look at the evidence of your own life for the answer & not what the person next to you says. Does the evidence of a sacrificial life scream out that God is Lord over all things in your life?
I have things I do not want to give up. We all do. I am scared to & perhaps most people are. What removes fear? The Bible says, Love & Trust can. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, & whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” 1 John 4:18. Love & Trust. You cannot have one without the other. Jesus, our High Priest, has shown Himself One worthy of Trust. One worthy to Love. He has made an oath to us & has kept it. The Word says so (Hebrews 7). My soul wants to trust, but my make-up is not soul alone, for I am also made of flesh. What I will say next is skewed but maybe you can relate. I find it easier to love without trust. I use the word ‘love’ loosely here. I can love someone without going out on the limb of trust. I realize this is not Love but something less than love. I do not know what you would call it instead. For Love & Trust do not separate. It must be something else then. The point is, all I know is I must give up my loves, even if I do not want to. All my shallow, shallow loves.
This leads me to the question, “Why give up your loves & what is the purpose?” I will attempt to answer that another time. Nevertheless, I think God just wanted me to write about what is on my mind & comtemplate what sacrifice looks like. If it makes you think then great. If it makes you think more about God then remember His un-changing, holy, innocent, unstained, exalted above the heavens nature.
