I have been home in charlotte for 3 months now & the first 2 months were AMAZING! I got to see my family (my bro came in from Cali) & I have been able to spend lots of time w/my best-friends (helping one of them get herself down the aisle) all with starting work a week after I got back into the States (I had 2 jobs actually). People thought I was crazy, but I was loving it!
(My dear friend from college–crazy enough I was allowed to disciple her 😉 the one and only, Julie!
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Month 3 hits & now I’m having a harder time. Bad news from family seems never-ending (my moms health mainly), I had to quit my nanny job, & some other stuff…it all just came at me & the demands of the world just started to weigh on me more than I could handle. A straight week of bad news & freak-outs & by that Friday I couldn’t breathe normally & all I could hear is my dad yelling at me, “Do what you need to do to calm down! Do whatever you need to relax!” Easy to say to someone who is having an anxiety attack. My one thought was, “I need to get out of here.” My default is to run if you know me at all, so I made myself stay & deal. A few days of dealing & I realize I do need some time away. So, I get on my computer that very late Monday night & I have a message from my old friend, Tatum saying to visit her @ the beach. Wow! I haven’t seen this girl in 3 years but this is truly a God thing & I leave the next day. I went with the intent of having a retreat & the prescription was ‘Rest & Seek God’. Boy, it was fantastic. The challenge, “Can you for just 9 weeks, LET-GO of everything in your life & just see what God has to show you!?” GOD, YES I CAN! The burden of trying to fix things, other peoples situations, my situations, is sooo tiring!
| First-time seeing my oldest friend Michelle and Will since being gone. |
Well, that was the beginning of August & since getting back, I have been trying to be Faithful & not hold onto things or people too tightly. It is a hard thing to do but a necessary thing. The more I learn about God, His Character, how He works & how He truly wants the best for me, has the best for me, I know I can trust Him. HE IS A GIVER, NOT A TAKER. For years I have always in my heart of hearts, in my darkest dark, I have believed the opposite was true of God for me. The lie that He IS A TAKER, NOT A GIVER…I know it’s not true. The Good News alone & the inheritance I have in Christ declares He has & He gives.
Best-friend Bekah and I @ Niffers rehearsal
To end, even though I have gotten another job, a much better one which I love (Shift Manager @ Starbucks…crazy), I am even more convinced that nothing on earth will ever satisfy. A great job, a secure income, a nice car, fun friends, complements from guys, or even a beautiful iced grande triple non-fat caramel macchiato (yes, even that!) can never satisfy the heart. This is my last blog…it’s kinda sad but a mark of a new season in my life that I thought you would want to hear about. Thanks for reading the blogs & your prayers over the past year of my life. I’m sorry it has taken me 3 months to write the finale. The blurps below are bits of every blog I wrote on the Race. It is a quick trip down memory lane & it shows just how far God has taken me. Byes =) **Ecclesiastes 3:1-8**
KARA (FACE DONKEY), ME, STEPH (MISS KINDLE), and SHANDA (FELLOW CHOCOHOLIC)
“…It was as if God had lifted my chin up in just the right moment to see wings spanned wide. A “Hello.” moment from God Himself…The stronghold of pain is like an unwelcomed friend. & when darkness is all you’re familiar with, it’s hard to see what God wants to show you…“Why are you carrying this burden for someone that would never carry it for you?”…You see, my dinner table was that table. Those young women are three of the most important people to me. My best friends…I was in the car driving up to Boone w/2 friends (Marcy & Seth) for the concert event & Seth & I were talking & it kind of went something like this: Do you have a sleeping bag? No. Do you have tent? No. Do you have hiking boots? No…As I was going thru the security line my mom kept yelling out for the entire airport to here. She yelled out things like, “Don’t forget to eat.” & “Be safe.” Others in line were laughing, smiling as they thought I was probably 18 & it was the first time I was leaving home…I saw the doctor today & after poking my stomach & drawing blood, he ruled that it isn’t Typhoid but a bacterial infection…For instance, giving away my tasty coconut bar when I just want to keep it to myself, washing out someone’s’ Nalgene even though I just want to finish my book, carrying my team members junk even though my back may hurt…Every night, these 2 kids are put to work on the city streets…We had some amazing people who helped put this event on (Grace Apostolic Prayer Ministries, YWAM, & a married couple who happen to be missionaries here). & somehow, I was in charge of it. To head up my own project was so exciting…Do I love all my loves–all this–more than God?…We loved traveling on her birthday! I think it made it easier to say goodbye to Antigua…I woke up again in the middle of the night w/shooting pains in my stomach. The pains came & went for days. My roommates covered me in prayer & hung verses all along the walls, even on the ceiling, just for me! (Vietnam)…Going on the World Race is not a remedy in itself to teach you how to live the “Good Christian Life”. It is what God asked me to do, to show me more of Himself…After visiting & talking with the Temple keeper, I realized how many false teachers there have been in the past, who will say anything & if it’s convincing enough, people will follow…I still have a long way to go…this is month five & I have 6 more to go!…The motto of the party, “To keep you is no benefit. To destroy you is no loss.”…After Krystle & I shared our testimonies, our team put on a Drime & something happened that night. After the event, Roni decided she wanted to become a Christian!…For Christmas, our squad received the news that we would be not be going to South Africa for the month but to London, England…With some physical therapy & love, she slowly gained something amazing called HOPE…EVERY SINGLE NIGHT WE HAD TO TEACH BIBLE STUDY!…I yelled what I could in Mandarin, telling him hello & that God loved him…Instead of hitting those old men (which I really wanted to do), all I could do was yell, “JESUS, JESUS, JESUS!!!”…Not even an hour into our trip did the bus break down…The town which we lived in for a couple weeks, is also home to the longest man-made wooden bridge in the world!…Bethany & I spent almost every day together while I was there & we had so much fun! She & Mon were great encouragements to me & we just enjoyed the brief friendship God was bringing along!…I cleaned more than I ever have in my entire life! & with color-coated cleaning supplies!…I left my home, my family, my friends, chopped off my hair, sold my car, all to go off on a pilgrimage, seeing the world with a bunch of strangers, carrying my home on my back. What was I thinking?…We went morning until night helping out at one of AIM’s Care points, doing health assessments & playing with hundreds of children, everyday…We moved 24 children & the orphanage site in just one day!…I sat in the seat crying at 1:30 AM b/c my home that I lived in, carried on my back for over 9 months, was now gone in the middle of Africa. The sentimental stuff was gone. My journal, notes from friends, Christmas cards, & my most prized possession–a picture of my grandma & grandpa that I had all my life…to the historical city called, Tirgu Mures. We will be here for the rest of the month along with Shanda (from team Pi) & the Bruce’s (from team BOLD)…The “old” in my life took so long to be put aside & The cloud that has been over me for the past two years is FINALLY, FINALLY, FINALLY GONE!!!…Then I think, when one does not know what Grace is, how can one understand it or be conscious of its’ existence?…being that my time on the Race is almost kaput! (3 DAYS LEFT)…”
P. S. I LOVE & MISS YOU WRACE PEOPLE! HUG!
P. S. S. I LOVE & MISS YOU G;RACERS. YOU BLESSED ME MORE THAN YOU KNOW. LONG HUG!
