Life is definitely not easy for anyone. Life doesn’t always dish out the same kind of “bad” to every person. We all have different backgrounds, different views and we all where raised differently. There is one thing we do all have in common. We all said “Yes” to Jesus.
Being raised in church up until I was 13, I knew Jesus and who he was or so I thought. After, very devastating news hit my family things started to go downhill. We moved, my parents where separated and we stopped going to church.
Race forward to years later, I was already embarked on a very dark, self destructive path. I’m 23 at this point and I’m working at a club, partying everyday, popping pills and also dealing. And as icing on the cake I was into Homosexuality. The relationship I was in had recently fell apart because I discovered they where doing meth. Much to my surprise. I knew at that point it was to far for me. I wanted out. But, I felt trapped. Like I was in way too deep. So, when the fighting got bad and when things where just so out of hand I just called out to Jesus because I was lost I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t think he heard me but, he did!
I eventually got out of the situation and the relationship but, my battle wasn’t over yet. I was left with a dark hole in my heart that I didn’t know how to fill. I would cry every day and somedays I didn’t know why all I could think was “I don’t wanna do this anymore.” It felt like every breath I took hurt. Nothing to me made sense. Still partying and going to the club because its all I knew to do. I was searching for something to make the pain go away but no drug or no amount of alcohol that I consumed would take it away. One Thursday night I was done to the point I had got a knife from the kitchen, went back to my room and I was just ready to end it all. Crying and just wanted the pain to end it was like I had two different voices in my head. One encouraging me to just do it. The other begging me to just hang on for a little bit longer. I ended up passing out in my tears and woke up with knife still placed over my wrist. Friday I went back to the club that night, still just trying to drawn the pain.
Saturday, is the day I heard the Lord “Go to church with Jennifer” who is my cousin. I was already crying bc it was all I seemed to know how to do in my depressed state but, it didn’t stop me from arguing. I was like NO! Not gonna happen. But the feeling wasn’t going away. so, finally I though what do I have to lose. Jennifer lived 3 hours away. I loaded my things and off to Northwest Arkansas I went. Little did I know what the Lord had in store for me. Sunday morning in church I actually fell at the feet of Jesus! I saw this light and his feet and I could not bring my self to look up. I heard ” I’m right here, I’ve always been right here.”
Fast forward to 25 years old and saying “Yes” to the Lord he gave me so much more than I could ever imagine. I got the family back that I always pushed away. I got the love I always searched for in all the wrong places and I’m overwhelmed with Joy everyday! Jesus gave me a lot of promises the day that I said “yes” to him again and he has never let me down.
This past year and half has been definitely the hardest year of my life but it has taught me so much of who I am and who Jesus says I am. I also came to realize that Jesus is all that we need. I’ve had to lean on Jesus with every heartbreak that I thought was going to destroy me. He held me, cuddled me, whipped away the tears and the pain. I put my whole trust in Jesus and I’ve never looked back!
So, I said Yes, to Jesus.
” For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.For one will scarcely die for a righteous person- through perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 6-8
We all walk down different roads and have different battles to face but, we all just want to say “Yes” to Jesus. Even the people who haven’t yet found their way yet.
