A week ago if you had told me that I would be where I am today I would have said you were crazy!!
Let me give you a little background before I tell you what happened last week… The only thing I have ever imagined doing my whole life was being a teacher. I mean there were times when I wanted to be a nurse, counselor, or something else, but I ALWAYS came back to being a teacher. I have always been told that I would be an amazing teacher and that everyone could see me in that career. The best feeling in the world to me is seeing the look on a child’s face when they get something for the first time, and knowing that I was the person to help them grasp the concept that was giving them trouble.
This past school year I have been Student Teaching, and while it hasn’t always been easy it has always been worth it, because I was gaining valuable skills that would help me when I had my own classroom someday. There were days when I wanted to give up and never go back, but I pushed through because this has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember. There were also times when I wish I could’ve switched classes and gotten an easier class, but if I had I would not know how to handle behavior situations and would’ve had to learn how to deal with those issues when I got my first class.
It has been a week since my whole world was rocked and turned upside down!!
Last Tuesday I was talking to a friend/coworker about what was going on and she asked me if I had given it up to God and I said “yes… maybe… no I guess not.” She then told me that I should give it up to God and let hime help me… now if you have known me for any amount of time you will know that I NEVER like to ask for help, and that is just they way I am, but for once I decided to listen to my friend and went driving around after school and said to God “I need you to take this and help me through, because if I try to do this on my own I will fail miserably!” little did I know that God would turn my world upside down just a few days later…. God literally took everything away from me, which is not what I wanted when I asked God to take it and help me get through it, but he did it for a reason.
Last Thursday I had an observation by one of the Education faculty members, and then I had recess duty so I had some time to get my thoughts together and figure out how I was going to handle the meeting that was about to happen. After we came in from recess, the kids did their clean-up jobs and then we did our yippee yuck circle. I then walked them down to specials and I was walking them down to specials… the principal, the assistant principal, and the program coordinator were walking back down the hall towards my classroom and I didn’t really think anything of it because I had no idea what was about to happen. When I got back to the room… my mentor, the principal, and program coordinator were all sitting down around a table and I knew something was about to happen, but what happened next was a total shock that I never saw coming. I shut the door walked over to the table and sat down. The principal then said that the conversation that was about to happen would not be an easy one, he then proceed to tell me that he no longer saw a benefit to me staying and finishing out the year, because he felt like all these supports had been put in place, but I was not making enough progress for it to work out. Needless to say I did not take that very well, because it meant that I would not get to finish Student Teaching which had a direct impact on me being able to finish my online course work, which in turn had a direct impact upon my being abr to Graduate in May.
I had a meeting on Monday with the program coordinator and one of my professors to discuss the next steps since I would not be able to finish out the year. I was hoping that I would still be able to Graduate, but tat was not the case. They told me that there would be no way for me to Graduate in May… they then presented me with a couple options
- Keep my catalog year what it was and only have until May 2018 to finish my degree, since they are no longer offering my degree
- Change my catalog year by a few years which would give me until May 2020 to finish my degree
I ended up going with option 2, because that way of I don’t get an answer on what to do when I get back from the World Race I will still have some time to figure out for sure what I want to do… right now I am not sure if teaching is the direction I want to go with my life, which is really tough to think about because it has been the only thing I have ever really dreamt of doing and have spent 6 years in school working towards.
Since this happened I have had many conversations with people I would consider close friends or family… and I have been continually reminded that even though this may seem like the end of the world it really isn’t, and that God has something great in store for me this next year.
I definitely don’t understand why this would happen this close to the end of the year, but I HAVE to trust that God did this because he is protecting me from something and that when I do go back to finish my degree and Student Teaching that it will be greater than I could have ever imagined!!
When God says “not yet” to me that hurts way more then if he were to flat out say “no!” I really dislike the unknown and like to know what is going to happen next, but in real life that rely happens, and it will definitely not happen while on the World Race, and I am going to have to learn to be ok with that and learn to turn to God in those uncertain times… which could very well be the reason God so “rudely” slammed this door in my face, so I could learn to turn to him now while I am still in the states and not halfway around the world without my family close by, because I will have to turn to him for strength so much next year!
So while this hurts like crazy right now and my world has been shaken and turned upside down… I will be ok and I will make it through this!!
Fundraising Update – I am currently at $1,855 or 10.68% funded
I need to have $5,000 by 5/13 (an additional $3,145) to attend Training Camp
I need to have $10,000 by 7/22 (an additional $8,145) to launch in August
I need to have $13,000 by 9/30 (an additional $11,145) to remain on the field
and finally I need to have all $17,361 by 11/30 (an additional $15,506) to remain on the field and finish the World Race
It is my hope that I would be fully funded by the time I launch in August, so if you would pray about how you could support me; a one time gift, a monthly gift… seriously though any amount helps, even if all you can give is $1 that $1 will help me reach my full fundraising goal of $17,361
You can donate by clicking on the “Donate” link at the top or you can mail a check (contact me at [email protected] for those details)
Thank you to those who have contributed to my World Race so far, I appreciate it so very much!!
