Since being back in Estonia, this month has been a little strange for me. We started the month at a Baptist campground, by a beautiful lake. It is a picturesque place, with a sauna house by the lake and a dock with a little 2 seater row boat. I can’t tell you how many times, since being on this journey, I have looked at my surroundings and pinched myself to wonder if it was a dream. The campground was one such place. Fresh out of debrief with our new teammates, the task for the month was to spend 2 weeks at the campground getting it ready for summer and 2 weeks at the Baptist church in town. I have since discovered that I do not solely enjoy manual labor as ministry. I am an extrovert through in through and I love meeting people and building relationships. With that being said, the first 2 weeks of our month were difficult, but not without lessons from my wonderful Abba Father.
As we walked out into the misty morning air at the campground, I couldn’t help but be a little sad that the once warm and balmy April temperatures we found in Riga, Latvia were gone. May was here, we were north and it was cold and yuck. This was the kind of day you just stay inside by the fire with a great movie or book. Alas, we were outside and ready to work. Despite the weather, what I’ve come to appreciate about my newly formed team and each of it’s members is that we take each task with joy and laughter. Most of us live by the motto that if it’s got to be done, we might as well enjoy each other, even if we don’t enjoy the task. We were asked to move brush into burn piles as we cleaned the foresty sections of the campground that lined the road to the main house. Translation: pick up sticks and move them to another big pile of sticks. Repeat.
Our team got to work, picking up sticks and throwing them into the pile to be burned. About an hour into this task I found myself thinking, “This would go so much faster if we had machines to grab all this junk and put it in the pile! This is going to take forever!” My outlook was less than thankful. About the time that my last thought crossed my head I heard the Lord say, “Strength comes slowly”. “Yea, Lord I know, but this is ridiculous, it’s such a waste of time!” “No Kimberly, it’s not a waste of time, because I’m making you stronger.”
In that moment my head flashed to Mo’ Fitness in my hometown, and my trainer and friend, Trent pushing me. “You can do anything for 15 more seconds!” I hated when he said that, because usually, the last 15 seconds of any particular workout he gave me felt like 15 minutes!
I trust Trent. He lives by what he talks about. Trent helped me become stronger before I left for the race. He’s a wonderful human being, and a great friend. When I told him about the race and my fitness goals, I’ll never forget his words; “I can’t give you money, but I can give you my time. I’ll train you (no charge) until you’re ready to go.” And he did. Anytime I called, he made himself available. (Thank you Trent!)
From my sessions with him, I remember getting frustrated because things weren’t going as fast as I wanted them to. He looked at me and goes, “Working out is easy, a healthy lifestyle takes discipline and devotion.” He was right.
The Lord was right. Strength takes time. I wanted to hurry the process of picking up those sticks. God wanted to teach me a much more valuable lesson. The lesson being that some of the most menial tasks, give us strength to do even greater things. (Karate kid anyone?) It’s only when we try and hurry the process that injury can happen. When we lose sight of the purpose, we miss out on the true lesson. I have been guilty of “cutting corners” in my own life, and I can testify that it has led to hurt. So often we want things to be easy, we want instant gratification and we want to do, do, do, and we forget how to just BE. We sum up our lives by the things we’ve done, instead of being the people God intended for us to be. Strength takes time.
I don’t enjoy being weak. As a matter of fact, I’ve spent a good part of my life trying to make myself tough. I have learned to fight, I’ve learned how to take a hit, both mentally and physically. But I have this inability to control my tears. My team tells me constantly not to apologize for my tears. I can’t help it. I can’t control it either. I’m learning that this is the Lord reminding me that HE is my strength and that no matter how tough I think I am, true strength is only found in Him, and strength takes time.
Psalm 28:7 says:
“The Lord is my strength and shield.
I trust him with all my heart.
He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy.
I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”
This is what happens AFTER the rain…
