Living in community is hard.
Living in authentic Christian community is harder.
On the World Race, community looks a little different than everyday life at home. In the States, community may contain your small group bible study, colleagues from work, family, or a tightly-knit group of friends. You spend a generally specific number of hours together every week. On the World Race, you also spend a generally specific number of hours together every week: 168. Before you pull out your iPhone calculators, that divides into 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We’re always together.
We hand wash laundry together.
We grocery shop together.
We do ministry together.
We rest together.
We go on adventures together.
We bucket shower together.
We have our quiet times together.
We pack together.
We eat, breathe, and sleep together.
{For your inside information: I came on this journey as an extrovert. 3 years of college formed my group mentality: texting friends to meet you in the cafeteria so you never eat alone, meeting up before class so you can walk together, spreading your books across the table to hold a study room of the library until your friends arrive so you can [not] study together, and forcing your friends to go to the grocery store with you.}
I came into the Race totally prepared to live in community, so I thought. However, what I forgot to take into account is the alone time I had available to me. I (often) slept in a room without my roommate, came home to an empty apartment after work, ate breakfast, drank coffee and had my quiet time in the peace in quiet all by myself.
I didn’t realize the weight of the shift that had occurred. At 21 years old, I learned to appreciate alone time.
I also over estimated another part of living in community before this: sharing. I spent my college years sharing my closet with my roommate and all nearby friends. Thoughts before the World Race: “I love sharing clothes. My closet will multiply by 6! At least I won’t be restricted to the same 10 outfits I packed for a year.” I had no idea what I was signing up for.
Sharing is hard.
> Sharing your favorite dress with someone that could drop some weird food on it and ruin it is hard.
> Sharing your only pair of jeans with someone who is most likely going to sit down on the dirt floor while evangelizing is hard.
> Sharing one of your 5 deodorants to last you for 11 months with people who haven’t showered in a questionable amount of days is hard.
> Sharing a tiny room with 15 people and 30 backpacks is hard.
> Sharing your special edition Cake Batter Chapstick that is your secret comfort is hard.
> Sharing your peanut butter that cost $8 a jar is hard.
> Sharing your electronics when 7 people are fighting for charging time on the converter is hard.
> Sharing medicine you brought from home and may not find again is hard.
> Sharing your prized possession of hand sanitizer after using a squatty-potty is hard.
> Sharing your chocolate you have been rationing for a week when your emotional is hard.
Sharing EVERYTHING with people is a lot harder than I expected.
There’s an epidemic on the Race called poverty mentality. Poverty mentality is the habit of hoarding items or excessive overeating in the fear of being in need or going without. Our fight against poverty mentality makes the simplicity of sharing a difficulty. Our food is labeled with our names in our (shared) black sharpie marker and our favorite items stay hidden in hopes of being “out of sight, out of mind.” The humbling truth is that we have never gone without. We’ve learned the difference in wants and needs, but we have never been without a need. There has always been a store available in a span of a month where we can purchase our first world idea of the essentials: peanut butter, chocolate, face wash, deodorant, toothpaste.
In Acts 4, the disciples give a perfect image of what community is supposed to look like: “all the Believers were united in heart an mind. And they felt that what they owned was not their own, so they shared everything they had. The apostles testified powerfully to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and God’s greatest blessing was upon them all. There were no needy people among them, because those who owned land or houses would sell them and bring the money to the apostles to give to those in need.” vs 32-35
A surprising fact may be that sharing and privacy aren’t the hardest parts of living in this community. The hardest part lies in the true difference between community and authentic Christian community: the difference between friendships and community. In friendships, we choose people that we share history, hobbies, laughter, and harmony with. We choose friends who are okay with where we’re at today. Community, however, is tough, diverse, honest, intentional, sharpening, inspiring, vulnerable. Community pushes you to where you want to be tomorrow. If you find both of these in one person or group of people, you’ve found gold.
One part of community I’ve learned on the Race is feedback. Feedback is the act of giving positive or constructive reinforcement for one’s behavior. Christian community leads you to look more like Christ. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” guides our lifestyle together. In America you either fear and avoid controversy or you thrive in it. At the beginning of the Race, I considered myself a thriver; yet, the ability to handle controversy in a healthy way was never a learned lesson of mine.
Hearing your weaknesses, aware or unaware of them, in a group or private setting knocks your ego down a few levels. Although, it stretches you in a whole new way.
“Hard words spoken in love produces soft hearts.” When we hold back feedback that can call our brother or sister into looking more like Christ in fear of controversy, we must ask ourselves if we are loving them the way Christ would. There are many days I want to avoid someone or distance myself from them because their behavior is getting on my last nerves. It’s much easier to bite your tongue over a character trait or behavior that irritates you than it is to bring it before that person and the Lord and help them walk into growth. However, when we are all prayerfully encouraging each other to look more like Christ in all of their behaviors, we are fully embodying the way Christ designed the church to look.
Authentic Christian community contains a healthy balance of grace and commitment. Don’t be confused; “grace is not synonymous with mercy or forgiveness. Grace is the inexhaustible undeserved kindness of God extended for undeserved people. Where there is no grace there is no Christian community. Commitment without grace is cold legalism, but grace without commitment is religious laziness.”
— Ethos church, Dave Clayton
I’ve noticed that grace is something I so easily give to strangers but give with such difficulty to those I love. It’s the reason we chastise our parents or children over the slightest things but tell our friends to take it easy on theirs. We must find the balance of giving grace and accepting the challenge of calling people we love out of their comfort zones.
What it comes down to:
I get tired of never having a moment to myself. I get tired of sharing everything I have. I get tired of constantly being challenged and having to chose to give feedback instead of avoid conflict.
But I know that all of these things I am so tired of, make me a better me. They grow my patience, grace, and selflessness on a daily basis.
Because of this, I continue to chose to live in community.
