I want to share with you about an amazing young woman I met while working at The Well in Thailand. Her story is a perfect example of God’s mercy, and His desire to take the despised things or the world and reveal His glory through them. Fern’s story eccos a lot of my own wounds. Though or stories are different, they carried the same messages, the same crippling lies from hell. Glory be to God that because of Christ’s redeeming blood, we are both learning that we are not forgotten women anymore.
Fern is 22 years old, and this is her story.
When I was 8 years old, a World Vision employee came to my school and signed me up for their sponsor program. I soon found out that someone from Spain, a teacher, would be my sponsor. He wrote me letters twice a month for 6 years, sending money to cover schooling, supplies and uniform.
Each time my sponsor sent letters and gifts, the WV employee would have to deliver them to my house in the mountains. Then, he would stay and teach me for an hour about Jesus. I didn’t know what to think about Jesus, but I thought a lot about the man who was sponsoring me and why he wanted to help me. My own father didn’t give me the things my sponsor did. He didn’t care for me in the same way. Now, I can understand why this man loved me – because he loved God first.
I didn’t feel loved in my family, but I felt loved by this man across the world in Spain who would write me letters twice a month. At the time, when the WV employee told me that Jesus loved me, I didn’t believe him because I thought he just wanted to encourage me. It wasn’t until much later, when I had nothing else in my life to hope in, that I was able to realize how much God does, and always has, loved me. He was always there, caring for me. Although everyone else in the world has forgotten me, God has never forsaken me. Boyfriends have abandoned me when they learned about my past, but God has never left me and I want to honor him with my testimony. It’s not important who comes and goes in my life. What I know is that God will never leave me.
There is a song in Thai about a forgotten woman. In the song, she tells someone, “If you love me, don’t ask about my past. Love me for my heart and forgive me for my past. If you love me, don’t think about my past. Forgive my past because I didn’t want those things to happen to me.” In Thailand, every woman is thinking about this. They all have bad pasts and they can’t forget them. Thai men have a hard time forgiving women for their past. My husband never forgave me. When I heard that song for the first time, I cried, realizing my life mirrored the life of the woman in the song.
I grew up with no warmth in my family. My dad and mom were separated and I had to stay with my dad because my mom didn’t want me. Dad was an alcoholic and he didn’t care much about me. I stayed at home alone most of the time. When I was hungry, the neighbors had pity on me and gave me food. I longed to be loved. Eventually, my dad moved to a bigger town called Ayutthaya to work. He left me to stay with my mom, but she didn’t care about me at all. She only cared for her son.
I suffered many abuses during that time, but I never told my mother. When I finally told my mother she yelled at me saying that I deserved it. I was hurting. Instead of protecting me, my mom protected the offender. I swore to myself that I would never talk to my mom again. Today, just the mention of her name brings great pain. It was in the wake of all this that I became addicted to drugs.
Also, at this time, while dating a guy, I became pregnant. Although my friends suggested abortion, I chose to marry the guy and have the child. I thought he would give me love and warmth, but it was nothing like I dreamed. He drank, gambled and was very unfaithful to me.While drunk, he would say terrible things to me and confess my past to everyone else. He often beat me. I finally ran away from him when he had an affair with my cousin.
While I was crying at the bus station, I met a woman who prayed for me and gave me her phone number. I came to Bangkok and stayed with my aunt for six months, working in a factory and a hotel. I wasn’t happy with my life and had no guidance. At this time, I met another guy whom I loved very much. He said he loved me, so I wanted to spend my life with him. We had been dating for a year and a half, when I heard that he got married to another woman. My heart was broken and I had nowhere to turn.
I called the woman that I met at the bus station. She took me to The Well. Even though I didn’t have a bargirl background, they accepted me because of the abuse I suffered; they knew I needed a place of refuge to rest my heart. While staying at The Well, I learned about Jesus, but my heart wasn’t open to him yet. All I could think about was the guy that I loved who’d married another woman. I went back to him and he led me to believe that we could be together. In the end, he only embarrassed me in front of my friends and laughed at my pain.
I didn’t want to live any longer. I grew despondent and took many sleeping pills. I returned to my room at The Well, locking myself in there. Then one of my friends saw smoke coming out of my room. Thinking there was a fire inside, she called the staff. They opened the room, but there was no fire. There was no smoke. God was simply showing them that I was in danger. Two staff members took me to the hospital and the doctor pumped my stomach just in time. If we had not arrived when we did, I would have died that day.
This incident brought me to repent and turn totally to God. I gave Him all of my sins. God gave me love, love that is so different from this world. My own mom disowned and denied me, but God has not. God loves me with an unlimited, forgiving love, regardless of whether I am a good or a bad person. My life’s so different now. It’s fresh. God gave me new life and new love. He is my constant, consistent friend. I find warmth in Him. I know that He’s walking with me all the time. God remembers me. He’s writing my name on his palm. I’m not the forgotten woman anymore.
I’ve been working at The Well for almost 2 years now. God has taught me so much about Himself, real love and positive relationships. Besides making jewelry, I’ve been helping with outreach and translating for volunteer teams. I soon realized that God’s calling me into missions and will be serving with YWAM, beginning January 2008. Even though I have no money, little education and no experience, I’m very excited and can’t wait to see how God can use my life to honor him and bless others.
I used to want to be a soldier in Thailand, but then I found out I could be a soldier for Jesus and thought this was even better. I’m only 22, but I know I am willing to endure anything to serve the Lord. So, I head out in a few months to begin my life as a missionary. I’m raising support. It’s not easy, but I know God will provide because He always has. I have to raise appx $2,000 to cover my 6 months of training and living expenses in Thailand. I will be sad to leave Bangkok, which I love very much, but I can’t wait to start DTS (discipleship training school).
Fern has grown so much in her time at The Well, and has a deep desire to give back all that God has given her. Being a missionary and having to raise support is hard. It can be even harder when you live in a poor non-christian country. I really want to see Fern come alive and find fulfillment in serving her King. I am asking you to consider making a donation to help meet her needs. God will be glorified in her life either way, but this gives you a chance to be a part of that and let God’s glory shine in your life too. If this story is speaking to your heart, please donate online to the here and include a note that it’s specifically for Fern at The Well – Thailand.
Thank you so much for all that you do; all of the prayers, the support, and sharing these stories with your friends and family. We are all grateful to the supports that make it possible for us to do what we do. God bless you, for the Kingdom.
