My first week in Gainesville was not easy. I shared the other day about how I’ve been feeling rather useless here. I know that I was called to be here, but lack of finances was keeping me from being able to do what I came to do. My days were spent staring at job listings, filling out endless on-line applications, feeling rather detached from all of the things that brought me here.
Training camp started on Friday night. A large part of my reason for coming so soon was so that I would be here to help with this event. I had a discussion with my department leaders, and we decided that my focus needs to be on getting a paying job to provide for my housing and personal needs. So, I am not on the schedule. I don’t have an assignment. I’m just here.
Again, I was feeling very useless but knew that I couldn’t commit to a schedule. If a job becomes available, I need to take it and begin earning some money. I knew that sitting at home feeling left out wasn’t helping me though. It only opened the door for the enemy to speak more lies and bring more discouragement. So I decided that I would start going into the office to do my job search from there. That way I was around my friends, I would know what was going on, I could help from time to time, and it gave me a reason to get up instead of sleeping in everyday. Just being there improved my spirits, but I still didn’t really feel like I had a place.
Friday night when the trainees arrived, one of the girls had hurt her knee and was in a lot of pain. They decided she should be checked out at the hospital, and asked if I would be willing to take her and stay with her. Finally, I had something to offer.
With directions in hand, we set out to find the hospital. Not such an easy thing in Gainesville by the way. As we talked I found out that she is a good friend of Mallorie, one of my teammates from last year. That was cool. We also had a few other things in common. It was obvious to me that God had brought us together for a reason. He was ministering to my heart and hers through her injury. I love the way God works.
I have been here at AIM all weekend participating in the training, getting to know the trainees, and letting God speak to me and renew me again. We had a great session last night that brought me to a place of vulnerability with some of the staff, and this morning God refreshed me with a new annointing of the Holy Spirit. I feel alive and reenergized, and know without a doubt that this is were God has called me to be for this season; however long that is.
I still need to find a job, and come Monday I will have to turn my focus back to that. But I will be here doing what I can when I can until God releases me to be here full-time or sends me to my next assignment. I have turned the corner and am no longer struggling to get by on my own strength. I am walking in His power, by His strength, and according to His will and timing.
Thanks for your prayers. Pray that I will have the discerment to recognize when the devil tries to drag me back down again, and that I will stand on truth and not give in to his lies. I also pray that God releases on you a fresh annointing of His power and revelation of his presense in your life.
