Oh boy! I still have three more days of this? I mean, two and half more weeks of this? Ugh. I love the kids, and teaching isn’t so bad, but this is hard work. Really hard work.
I have so much more respect for teachers now.
When we got started this morning, I thought I wasn’t going to have any kids. All of the other kids were gathering and heading over to worship, and I still didn’t have any kids. Finally, Theleinai came. We were by ourselves for most of the singing. Two more kids came right at the end of worship. Only three kids? What happened to the other 10?
I decided to join Ester for the morning recreation time. It would not be very fun to play games with 3 kids. My kids were a little shy about joining in, but they eventually warmed up. More kids came as the games went on. By the time REC was over, I had 7 kids. It was disappointing that the others did not come back, but I was relieved to have a smaller group.
I thought it would be easier with less kids, but that idea quickly vanished. I could not get any of them to pay attention or engage. Either they were sitting with their heads to the ground, not saying a word, or they were talking and goofing off or fighting. I feel like I spent most of the day telling them to listen, or dragging them back to the group. One of the girls in particularly good at trying to manipulate. It is hard not to get frustrated. She is really sweet though too, which makes it even harder.
Despite all of the struggles, I feel like I got to know some of the kids better today. Some of them are very smart and like to answer. A few others seem to have more difficulties. I wonder if they have not been to school as much as the others. One boy likes to participate, but he just seems to be behind in his education.
Sometimes I feel like they didn’t hear a word I said, and sometimes I feel like I didn’t get to explain it as well as I would like to. But, I know that God is using it. He doesn’t need me to do things perfectly, He just needs me to love them and share my heart with them. I know that these kids are learning something, and they are being exposed to the love of God and given a chance to accept it. Just to be with them and give them our time and attention, is worth it.
God, give me the energy and the strength and the grace to love these kids the way you love them, and to teach them about you. Restore us while we sleep, and give us just what we need for each day.
