We are currently back at Tamarindo beach for our days off. We decided to use a few hours to debrief the last month. We planned a few hours, but God took the whole day.
That is good, because when God takes over like that, big things happen. You may want to read Eric’s blog for more on that (http://erichansen.theworldrace.org/).
I would like to share a little about what God has been doing in me, and what He revealed to me yesterday.
Being two months into this trip, I have been struggling a lot with flesh and selfishness. It was one thing to surrender these things for a three week stretch, but eleven months is a little more challenging.
All those little irritations like personal space and cleanliness have been in my face a lot in the last three weeks. Things like dirty feet on my sleeping bag, people moving my stuff or just crowding my little space. Even things like kids at the church all hours of the day, waking me up, getting into everything, and constantly hanging all over me.
There are some things that we just think of as personal rights, but the truth is… we have none. I have nothing of my own, not even the breath that fills my lungs. It all belongs to God.
More than that, I signed up for this. I knew this was part of the journey. I wanted, and still want to surrender everything.
God has really been bringing me to the end of myself so that I have to make a decision. I can surrender it all, or I can let it destroy me. I can choose to fall on the rock, or the rock will fall on me.
The thing is, God has promised to complete the work He has begun in me. It will happen. But right now, I stand at the cross roads. I can choose to surrender it all and learn the lesson, take a right; or I can hold onto a lie about my rights and take a left. If I choose to take a left, the road will always loop back around, and I will repeat the lesson again later. The end result is guaranteed, but I still choose which path I take to get there.
If I have not love, I have nothing. If I have not love, I have nothing to offer and I have no reason to be here. I have not come to share myself, I have come to share Christ. So if I am trying to be me instead of allowing Christ to be formed in me, what would be the point?
God, give me that kind of love. Give me the heart of Christ. Help me to always respond with love; especially when it’s hard to.
In case you were wondering, I chose to go right.
