Most of my life, I have made my own decisions and came to my own conclusions and followed my own direction. Over that last two years, God has been impressing on me the value of authority. Especially in the area of spiritual growth. For the last 7-8 years, I have relied on my own discerment of God’s will and direction for my life and I feel like I did pretty okay. But okay isn’t good enough. I know that by having the direction of somebody with more understanding and wisdom, I could grow much more and avoid a whole lot of unneccesary trial and error.
With this in mind, I made I have asked several people to play that kind of mento role in my life. One of those people is Seth Barnes, the founder and director of Adventures In Missions. I recently had some revelation from God that I interpreted as a call to step out into uncomfortable territory – to take a risk and do something that I long to do but feel inadequate to well. I thought that meant leading some of AIM’s short term trips overseas. However, when I discussed this with Seth he recommended that I commit to another 12-18 months here in Gainesville and then we could reevaluate whether or not I am ready for that.
That is not what I wanted to hear, and it seemed to be in direct opposition to what I thought the Lord was telling me. So now I was faced with a dilema. Do I submit to his authority, or do I follow my own instincts as I have always done? Well, since I know that doing the same thing will never produce different results I am choosing to submit to Seth’s authority and trust his discernment over my own.
In this I am also learning that what God speaks to me will never be in direct conflict with the authority He has chosen for me. So, I have to reevalutate the revelation I had from God and see where my interpretation may have been off. I realized that my strong desire to go back overseas may have influence my interpritations of the revelation. Perhaps God is really calling me to step out more here in Gainesville first. Afterall, we have to be faithful with small things before we receive bigger things.
Staying in Gainesville for another year or more is not exactly what I want to do, but I know that God will bless that. I was also recently reminded that God is far more interested in my heart than He is in my mininstry, and not to despise small beginnings. I still long to go overseas, but my attitude about where I am is much improved. I will be faithful where God has me and I will submit the authorities He has placed over me.
