My Call

1. An encounter with God that establishes a sense of calling.
2.  A time of reflection or doubting of the call.
3. An affirmation of the call through the Body of Christ.
4. A willingness to obey that puts no conditions on where you are willing to go or on what God may ask you to do.

   I see each of these things in my life, but not necessarily in that order. It was more like God sparked an interest, I doubted, God called louder, I doubted, the body affirmed, I doubted, God yelled, and finally God is turning my doubt into a willingness to obey with no limitations.
   When I was young I went to a church that had a mission’s week once a year. I loved mission’s week because of the amazing stories of faith, adventure and trusting God. Even though I was inspired, I never thought that I could do what they were doing. I was very shy and clung to my parents. When I was in junior high my church offered a mission trip to Mexico to build houses. I wanted to go but I chose to go with my family on vacation instead. The next year, the same trip was offered but my uncle was getting married. These situations made me think that God was not calling me to missions. 
   I chose to pursue other things, but God still had a grip on my heart. He used this time to help me know Him better. Finally in 2002 my church offered the opportunity to go to Bulgaria. I went and learned that my worldview was very small; God, on the other hand, is a big God. When I returned I was offered the opportunity to go to Uzbekistan for a year as a graphic designer. I prayed for such a long time, but I was not ready and neither were my parents. 
   Over the next couple of years my passion for missions grew. I began reading missionary biographies and the lives of faith of the men and women inspired me. After five years of praying about where God wanted me, I quit my job and went back to school. I then went to Costa Rica to get my TEFL certificate and stayed another two months to help a missionary couple. While there I saw the everyday life of missionaries. 
   When I cam back home there was a lot of uncertainty. I had always had a plan, and now I had nothing. I had many good intentions of what I could do, like picking a place in the world and teaching English; or going on a year long mission trip with OMS called Xtreme Walk; or so many other opportunities that were good things, but nothing that God said “GO!” to. The hardest thing for me was to make the decision where to go. I wanted to work at orphanages that helped street kids, I wanted to help girls out of the sex trade, I wanted to disciple those who longed to know more about God, and I didn’t want to go alone. I became so anxious about what to do next that I stopped living in the present. Finally I gave up. I was reading a book about Paul and it hit me that I didn’t need to search for what God was calling me to. If He wanted me He would call me out of my everyday living, like Paul was doing when he was called to be a missionary. It seems like as soon as I decided not to search anymore that the youth pastor at my church told me to check out AIM. I can only imagine what he thought as he told me about it. I wasn’t excited to hear about another opportunity. I think I just sighed and said I would check it out. 
   When I first went to the website I saw the 11 countries in 11 months and that sounded really exciting to me. Seeing the entire world has always been a desire of mine. But my heart did not leap within me until I read the testimonies of the people who had already been on the trip. I saw how God was changing their hearts and lives along with how He was changing the lives of those with whom they ministered. I knew right away that this was something that God wanted me to do because before I knew that the trip existed it was the exact desire God had placed in my heart. I am so grateful that God leads us and is always in control!