Tonight was harder than last night. It is much more evident to me now with the fact that I can’t sleep, which is very unusual. As I sit up praying and thinking over the night I see many people who can not sleep. Three guys just went out for a walk, Holli is downstairs worshipping, three girls were praying in the hallway upstairs, and some girls are still up on their computers. Mark was right when he said that the street we started on was a “spiritually easy” street. We ventured off the street and it wrecked me. A fortune teller was on one street corner; hundreds of miserable faces; lost people searching for something to fill the void; “lady boys” who are men dressed provocatively as women and do a good job at it (this is not the place for insecure women because the men are hot as women); and little girls running around watching all of this and participating…yes, participating! We saw a girl (white) about 12 years old, swinging herself around one of the dancing poles. I was outraged! What was she doing? Where were her parents? Why was no one stopping her? I don’t know what to think at this moment.
As I look off into the stars, pondering how far away they are, how You hold them in Your hands and still You know this man. You know my innermost being Lord, even better than I know myself. What a beautiful God, what a beautiful God. What am I, that I might be called your child? What am I? What am I that you might know me my king? What am I? What am I? What am I?
I have not much to offer you, not near what you deserve. But still I come because your cross has placed in me my worth. Oh Christ, my King, of sympathy, whose wounds secure my peace. Your grace extends to call me friend, your mercy sets me free. And I know I’m weak, I know I’m unworthy to call upon your name. But because of grace, because of your mercy, I stand here unashamed. I can’t explain this kind of love, I’m humbled and amazed. That you come down from heavens heights and greet me face to face. And I know I’m weak, I know I’m unworthy to call upon your name. But because of grace, because of your mercy, I stand here unashamed. Here I am, at your feet, in my brokenness complete. ~Starfield~ Unashamed
