Life as I know it is slowly slipping away bit by bit.
As much as this scares me it’s good. It’s good starting the process of simplifying things and living with less or without. It’s good living with others to get used to being with others and relearning the art of patience and compromise. It’s good so that I can prepare for camp and the Race. It’s good so that I can lose my life.
See my life was never meant to be my life, but God’s.
The World Race had been so far away for so long that when I realized that training camp was less than 2 weeks away I sorta freaked out. I will be meeting my squad and WR team (all 120 of us) in 10 days and we will start this journey in less than 3 months. When in the world did that happen? It’s always been a looooooooong waaaaaay off. Guess what – it’s not. It’s right around the corner and about ready to bite me in the butt. And I’m not ready. I’m not ready for the changes that will come so quickly and so profoundly that the changes rock my world. I’m not ready physically and I certainly don’t feel ready spiritually. I enjoy my comfortable life and right now don’t want to rock the boat.
It was more than evident that things were a bit overwhelming during my move. The move itself went so smoothly (once a truck was secured) that it was almost scary. But on the way to my new home I was overwhelmed with emotion. Reality hit that each step of the plan that gets checked off along the way brings me closer to January. And the move was a big step. A giant leap if you may. I know that I am taking HUGE leaps forward in my faith by doing this but at times I feel like I am moving backwards. And this was one of those times. So much has happened over the last month that I was feeling lost and broken. And I wanted to quit.
But what a difference a week and a little bit of rest makes. I am beginning to see even more good in it all. I am able to spend some good quality time with my family. I get to sleep in almost every day – no alarms! I work out, take long walks with the dog and I’m able to read. I have been able to get nearly everything I need for the trip and do some research looking for what I need (who knew choosing bandanas would be so difficult!). I have been able to see family in Fort Wayne. I have been able to rest in HIM. And this would not be possible if I wasn’t obedient to Him.
So even though I feel less than adequate to go on this Race and am somewhat (actually really, really) anxious to go to traning camp, things that are happening are good. It’s all for Him and my comfort does not matter at this point. The only thing the matters are the lives that will be met along the way and changed for eternity.
Acts 20:24 “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord has given me — the task of testifying the gospel of God’s grace.”
I love you all!!!
