Draganesti-olt, Romania. This is where I will live for the next month of the world race. This month looks a little different than the rest of them because it is all squad month which means the whole squad, 38 people, are living under the same roof.
We arrived here after a five day debrief in Bucharest, Romania. Over the course of those five days, we had meetings with squad mentors and coaches and had time to relax before we started our next month of ministry. I had a blast in Bucharest, so much so I would really like to travel back there after the race is over and explore the city some more.
But anyway…the whole reason I am writing about debrief is because I had made the decision to give up coffee while I was there. Now, if you know me, I LOVE coffee and had about three cups a day every day. All throughout college I was known as the girl who adored coffee, the girl who got a keurig for her birthday and the girl who had a massive coffee cup collection. To say I depended on it is an understatement. It was more like an idol that had crept it way into my life without me even knowing it.
I started drinking coffee in high school and all throughout college. Up until October 12th, I had my routine every morning. I would wake up and have a glass of water then after that, make myself a cup of coffee even if I didn’t feel tired. Then, at noon or so I would feel some sleepiness coming on and make myself another cup or go get one from a café. Then, depending on the day, I would get another cup just for the heck of it.
Over time, the caffeine didn’t have any effect on me, my body had become used to it. I just thought I needed to function regularly. I started noticing I needed more and more coffee to wake myself up or to feel any effect at all. What I never realized was the priority I was putting on coffee in my life. I was addicted to it and it living life without it was not an option for me.
I don’t know how long the Lord has been telling me to fast from coffee, but it has been a while. I ignored the little voice in my head saying to give it up and kept on drinking it knowing that I was holding it on a pedestal. I would go for coffee for energy and comfort rather than going to God and in turn, this material drink got in between my relationship with the Lord.
At debrief, as I was sitting in a one on one chat with my squad leader and I ordered a coffee, like normal, not thinking anything of it. We were talking about the last month and how it was going, any issues I had and what not and then the waitress of the café came and took my empty latte cup off the table, and it caught my attention. I immediately felt this sense of guilt about ordering yet another coffee when God had been telling me to give it up.
I never intended to bring up this whole coffee situation in our meeting, but when I did my squad leader told me to give it up right then and there. No weaning myself off it, nothing. I was worried to say the least, and sad I could drink my precious coffee. Priorities, I told myself. Was coffee a higher priority than ministry? Than getting to know people? Than my relationship with God? I really wanted to answer no, but the answer was truly yes and that really struck me.
It was a priority I wanted to break and not think about any longer because I really wanted to focus on my relationship with God and make him the highest priority. One day I was reading my daily devotional and it read, “Even the smallest bit of obedience opens heaven, and the deepest truths of God immediately become yours.” After I read that sentence, giving up coffee was that small bit of obedience I needed to see Gods deepest truths and to be one with him.
I’m not sure how long my fast will go or if it will ever end, but in the meantime, I hope to discover more about my heavenly father and tear down any other priorities I have in my life. I have to say, it has been kind of freeing giving up coffee, but hard at the same time. Thankfully, God has spared me the caffeine withdrawal headaches but sleepiness has come in its place. I find myself wanting to take a nap most days which is very abnormal for me, but I know this will be a time of growth and development. I also know God is bigger than anything and he can help me overcome this tiny little hurdle.
I will definitely be keeping all my people posted about how no coffee time is going and what I have learned. Stay tuned, I’m sure I’ll have a coffee breakdown in no time at all : ) Thanks for reading and please comment below, I would love to hear feedback!
