I’m having trouble writing about training camp because my words are completely inadequate in conveying the depths of my experiences from the past 10 days. The only thing I know to do is to ask my Abba Father what he wants me to say. God, what do you want to say?
I’m listening.
And as I’m listening he says:
He’s a good, good Father.
It’s who He is.
And I am loved by him.
It’s who I am.
He says above all else, I am his daughter. Above being a servant, I am his daughter. That I am no longer a slave of fear, but a child of His. That He is pleased with me. He is pleased with me before I do anything, not because I do anything.
“So you are no longer a slave, but a child of God.” (Gal. 4:7)
He spoke to me and confirmed again and again and again that He is my strength. That He makes me strong. That I am incredibly weak in and of myself. He was loving enough to remove my physical strength to show me that I cannot do this thing on my own. That I cannot do life in my own strength. That I must be wholly and completely dependent on Him.
“For I am honored in the eyes of the Lord, and my God
has become my strength.” (Isaiah 49:6)
He spoke into me a heart of freedom. A new level of freedom I have never before experienced. Freedom from performance, past unforgiveness, pain, hurt, loss, shame. Freedom from things I didn’t realize had bondage over me. So much freedom.
“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)
He awakened me to more of His presence. Awakened my ears to His heart. Awakened my spirit to more of his Spirit. He awakened me to the revelation that His Spirit is more powerful and present than what I’ve allowed Him to be and do in my life. And I want Him more. I want to be more aware of the Holy Spirit in me, and in order to do that I have to create space for Him. Abandon the distractions to receive the revelations.
“Morning by morning he awakens; he awakens my ear
to hear as those who are taught. The Lord God has opened
my ear.” (Isaiah 50:4-5)
He told me to let go of the past because it will hinder my ability to see what he is doing now. The more I dwell on my past – good or bad – the more I miss the newness of who He is to me today and the goodness of the new He is doing now. I have to free myself of what was in order to see what is. And what is is a good, good thing. A new thing. He says to me let go and He promises to be and give more than I could ever imagine.
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things
of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth,
do you not perceive it?” (Isaiah 43:18-19)
God spoke to me a lot at training camp, but the conversation isn’t finished. The invitation is always there; we just need a willing heart and open ears.
