The first few days of training camp were about laying it at the cross. Realizing that we are human and we do have limitations and through life we have been hurt, by other imperfect humans. All of those hurts and pains that have wounded our souls cannot be healed by us. We CANNOT fix ourselves. BUT GOD can heal us, restore us, redeem our past, help us forgive others and ourselves, and mend the wounds of our past.
Through this training camp God revealed to me more of my weaknesses and it was hard! I had to be willing to let the Holy Spirit heal me. As I invited God to come into my heart more he revealed to me that I really had a lot of hurt from feeling like I was rejected from people and fearing that I would be in the future.
God revealed more of this to me when we did a walking activity. Our coaches asked us to write what God was putting on our heart on a log and carry that log through a path that lead to a cross where we would release our burdens to God. As I walked on this journey I was like “Okay God what’s going on?…” I was completely willing but was unsure of what type of crazy emotional experience was supposed to happen. As I was walking I felt lost and eventually I realized I was lost! And I tried to convince myself not to freak out but then I was like “God what the crap! You took me in the wrong direction!!” My thoughts went further and I just said “I need you God and I need a team to help me not get lost…” I was almost in tears when that last bit came out of me.
After I hiked around the lake twice (everybody else went a ¼ of that!) I talked to one of the AIM staff and told her I felt like I was a complete loser for getting lost. Basically, my pride was hurt (can I get an Amen!) The staff woman debriefed the activity with me and after talking she felt that I had learned two very important things that 1) I needed God and 2) I needed my team. Apparently I learned an important lesson for the World Race: I need to depend on my team and God is strong in my weaknesses.
After praying I felt that God wanted me to share more of myself with my team I felt that meant I should share my testimony. That night around the camp fire and around my 53 other teammates I told them about my day and how I realized that I needed them. Then I went into my testimony of how God found me. My testimony is one of the most intimate parts of my walk with God. I am glad I shared it:)
I want to leave you all with some verses:
About community/ team:
“The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body.” 1 Corinthians 12:12
“But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body. ” 1 Cor 18-20
About God:
“But he [the Lord] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I [Apostle Paul] will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
