Our second month we were in Malawi, just right next door to Zambia. February was all squad month, so all seven of our teams were together at the compound. We worked with an organization called Zehandi Missions, who run a bible college and are in the process off starting an orphanage and a school. They are well known in the surrounding villages and have a large area of land where they plan to put up their other buildings and add to what they have.
While we were there we pitched our tents in a small fenced-in area called Camp Hope. There is no electricity and no running water and the toilets are all squatties. Aside from the family’s home and a couple of small homes for the workers, there was only one other building which was the kitchen and a large open room that was used for the Bible School. Well, there was also a chicken coop- which was where I stayed when my tent got flooded after some torrential downpours : )
This was definitely what we considered a “bush month.”
It was a little hard for me at first, as I felt really defeated. Since there is no running water, we would have to walk the half mile to the well through the cornfields along the sandy paths. Once at the well we would pump our water into these big yellow 20 liter containers and then carry them back up the path to Zehandi. I was excited to do this at first and really live out in the bush and experience the culture and lifestyle of Africa. I quickly realized that it would be much harder than I anticipated.
Since there was no running water, we had to take the extra walk to get our own water for showers and even then it was just a bucket shower. Being that it’s Africa, it was very hot and we were sweaty and smelly all the time. In addition to the water runs that we did multiple times throughout the day, a part of our ministry was to help out around the property doing manual labor. We would garden, plant trees, pick up garbage, tend to the squatty pottys, mix cement, and haul bricks for the new buildings. It was a pretty physically demanding month. I thought that I was prepared for all this. I thought that I was tough. I thought that because God called me here, I would not need to be broken or stretched- that I was already ready.
God had other plans. He had started working on my heart even before I left. He knew that I wanted to go deeper but I couldn’t do that without first being stripped and broken. God knows that I don’t like to be broken and fragile. I don’t like to show flaws. And even though He has made me strong and given me a deep internal character- I cannot depend on myself during this trip. I NEED to depend on God. I need HIM to build me up, I need HIM to build my strength.
As it was all squad month, I was surrounded by women, most of whom I though to be prettier, cleaner, stronger, and better than me. I fell into the comparison trap yet again. As we carried water, I would be covered in sand and have spilt water all over me trying to carry it back up and others would have just a few specks of sand to brush off. I would be drenched with sweat, while others would simply be glistening with a few beads of perspiration on their forehead. I felt like I was not really good at anything and I didn’t have a place within our squad. Even though I knew otherwise, every seed of doubt in my mind the devil jumped on with delight. Satan continued to flood my mind with insecurity and tell me I wasn’t good enough, that I should have started sooner, that I was not as tough as I thought. In fact, a lot of people struggled with spiritual warfare while we were there.
Luckily our hosts knew that these kinds of things happen and gave us a lot of encouragement an opportunities to work on our inner selves and grow deeper with God. They wanted us to pour into each other and to wholly depend on God. They knew that in order for us to pour out into the community, we first had to be filled with God.
Not only was I able to grow closer with a lot of my squadmates- my team also grew much closer together. As we shared our struggles and talked about our problems and insecurities we were able to encourage each other. We were able to call out satan’s attempts to bring us down and squash anything that was not from the Lord. We all became prayer warriors and FIERCE women of God.
There was one night in particular where we were all tired, physically and mentally, and said that our team time would be really short and then we would all go to bed. We had felt a little uneasy about satan’s presence in the camp- and heard many stories of how no one had restful sleep the night before, so we wanted to pray over each other and the places that we all slept before bed. As we stood outside getting ready to pray and staring up at the stars, we began to sing worship songs and cry out to God. We spent TWO AND A HALF HOURS in prayer and worship before we felt led to stop and go to sleep.
It was a beautiful and stirring moment for us all and only solidified our bond as a team.
God led me to so many things during our time in Malawi, and I am so grateful for all the hard lessons that I had to learn. It has only served to make me stronger and give me confidence in the gifts that God has given to me. I am so blessed that I have been able to experience the tough things as well as the easy things, and that I have been pushed to go deeper at every turn.
Thank you so much for your continued prayers!
