Five weeks in, and I’m taking a quick trip home for the weekend. This first chunk of The Fellowship program has completely exceeded my expectations. To be honest, that may be because I didn’t have many coming in. I’m continually impressed by the reputation this program has and the standards they’ve set for us. We’ve focused A LOT on who we are as individuals so we can learn to self lead. Once we master that, the idea is that we will be more effective leaders of others.
A huge part of the reason I came here was to gain a vision for my future and what the Lord is calling me to. The self-discovery lessons have helped me begin to circle around the vision, but my fear of commitment has left me hazy on nailing down anything specific. This leads me back to my trip home last weekend.
At almost 9 o’clock at night, I sit in the very last row in the corner of an airplane, eagerly anticipating the coming weekend with family and friends. One of the last passengers to board, a man takes his seat next to me and settles in for the flight. As we get to talking, I find out that he is a pastor and works for the North American Mission Board. So, naturally, we talk about Jesus and he asks me what my calling is.
I reply through the laughter, “Well, isn’t that the golden question?! I’ve been trying to figure that out for years. I’m getting closer, but I still just haven’t reached it!”
He ambitiously promises, “Kim, by the end of this plane ride, you will know your calling.”
He’s got my attention. I’m all ears. Bring it on.
He proceeds to ask me questions and push my buttons, in a perfectly polite, but delightfully challenging way. He would ask me the same question five different ways until I gave an acceptable answer. Sometimes, my answers would be met with, “I think that’s what every Christian would say.” Frank, but honest. I like it.
Sure enough, as the captain’s voice alerts us to prepare for descent over the intercom, we come to a conclusion -edification. I was put on this earth to build people up. My vehicle to arrive at this destination: discipleship. I realized that something that frustrates me is lukewarm Christians, probably because I used to be one. Most people walk through life ankle deep not realizing how deep the water goes and how refreshing it is if you only allow yourself to wade out into it. I want to show people the infinite depth of the waters and lead them out into it.
Just this morning, I was reading in Galatians. With a new lens of discipleship, I began to relate with Paul. He saw these churches start fervently for Christ and then is later writing to them to encourage them in ways to continue to grow. We read in his letter to them in Galatians 4:19, “Oh, my dear children! I feel as if I’m going through labor pains for you again, and they will continue until Christ is fully developed in your lives.” This shows me that Paul was frustrated by the lukewarm Christians too. It literally pained him to see them this way, and he would do anything to lead them into fullness with Christ.
I hope you guys find this as exciting as I do. I’ve been hearing the Lord telling me to walk forward confidently, but I felt like He hadn’t given me a direction to walk. Well, He physically put this man beside me to give direction. My new friend had missed his flight at 2:30 earlier that day and been put on standby for 3 other flights. Our flight was full when I checked in; the kiosk asked if I wanted to volunteer to wait for another flight. The woman on the other side of him told us that her friend was supposed to sit there, but she hurt her foot on vacation and had to be moved to a seat with more leg room. JESUS!! He knew I needed to hear it, and He made sure it happened.
I’m pumped up with this feeling of purpose and direction. I have a few ideas for how the Lord might be intending to use me in this. Stay tuned for what’s next.
