You could say that I was a bit of a
skeptic. I knew that God was powerful and had the ability to heal physically
and spiritually; but for most of my life I just assumed that healing physically
looked different these days than it did in the days of the early church. That
all changed 2 months ago.
W-squad was in
Bucharest, Romania for our 4-month debrief and everything was going well. We
were coming together as a squad, as teams, and experiencing more and more
freedom in the Spirit. One night, toward the end of debrief, we had a night of
worship. I was looking forward to it because I felt like the Lord had a lot for
me; my teammate, Angela, felt the same. But God had other plans. That afternoon
I took a nap and when I woke up I felt incredibly nauseous. At first I thought
it was just acid reflux and that if I threw up I would be fine (sorry if that
is too much information). But shortly after arriving in the bathroom I realized
that was not the problem.
I spent the next 30
minutes with my new best friend, the toilet. During that time my squad mate,
Joshua, came to the door asking if I was ok or if he could help. “Um, I think
I’ll be ok,” was probably my response. A little while later he came back to the
door and said this: “Uh, Kim?” Me: “yeah?” Joshua: “This is probably going to
sound weird, but… just let God heal you.” At that I began to cry. I didn’t want
to be sick, in fact I was really irritated that I was sick. God, You said
You had something for me tonight. How am I going to get that if I’m too sick to
even go? I was also crying because I knew that I
didn’t have faith that God would heal me.
Back in my room
Angela was there. She asked what was wrong and watched quietly as I sat on my
bed crying. Then she came over and began to pray and rub my back. We sat there
for a while, her praying, me crying. Then, at some point, I began to pray too.
At first with very little faith, but as we continued to pray my faith grew
until I knew somewhere inside me that by Jesus’ stripes I was healed. I began
praying more boldly, claiming the healing.
The whole time
Angela was rubbing my back, or so I thought. It wasn’t until a few weeks later
that I learned that it wasn’t her hand on my back the whole time. As she was
praying she had a vision; she said that Jesus was sitting beside me, pointed to
a stripe on His back, and said ‘I took this one for Kim.’ As she was saying
that I felt like her hand on my back changed directions. Instead of coming from
my right where she was sitting, it felt like the hand was coming from my left.
At the time I dismissed it thinking I was making things up. A few weeks later
Angela told me that she had stopped rubbing my back. It was then that I knew
that Jesus was there with me, rubbing my back, healing me.
I felt as though I
needed more people to come and pray over me. I looked at Angela and asked her
to go and get some of our squad. Before I knew it there were 10 or 15 of my
squad mates in our already overcrowded room praying for me, me sobbing the
whole time. After they prayed, Kaitlyn asked me how I felt, I said, “I feel
better but I’m nervous to stand up because I’m afraid I will be sick again.” My
faith was wavering. Once everyone was gone I sat on my bed for a while and then
looked up at Angela asking her, “Angela, do you think this is one of those
times that I should rest and take it slow or is this one of those times that I
need to step out in faith?” Immediately her very bold response was, “Pick up
your mat and walk!” So that is what I did. I stood up and we walked around the
hostel, praying continually, until we realized there was really nowhere to go.
We ended up back in our room where we continued to walk (more like swaying back
and forth) and pray.
This is the point
where the real healing began. I honestly don’t even know how long we were there
but we prayed and prayed and prayed. At some point the prayer evolved and
became more about spiritual than physical healing. It was a fight. First just
Angela and myself, then Joshua and Allison joined us. These 2 squad mates
ending up there was a divine appointment for many reasons that I won’t go into
now. They prayed right into everything that was going on and Allison had no
idea what had happened earlier in the day. Now we were fighting for my voice,
and at one point Angela felt as though I was not only fighting for myself but
for someone else. I can’t really explain everything that happened but I know
that after that something in me began to change, something in me was healing.
God was restoring my voice. For a long time my voice had been muffled by lies
that my words were not good, that they hurt, and that they tore down; but God
in His mercy restored in me the truth that my words are good, they are powerful
and have truth, and that they build others up.
And I was healed by
no other name but Jesus! That night I went to worship and didn’t feel sick
again. I thought that God had something for me in worship, and He did; He
wanted me to worship Him freely. But the healing came when I didn’t expect it,
through my brokenness.
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope
for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
If you would like to read about this from
Angela’s point of view click HERE.
Many Blessings,
Kim
