I’ve only been in Nepal for about a week and a half, on my 5th day in Nepal and my first day of ministry we were told we would be doing prayer ministry.
When we got to our hosts home, they took us to the roof where they explained our ministry for the day, told us a bit about their family, introduced us to some christian Nepali songs and even gave us an hour of quiet time to be alone with the Lord.
That hour was so great for me, I hadn’t done any devotions that day so spending that hour with the Lord was so sweet! And even sweeter to be surrounded by my 50+ other squamates on a rooftop in Nepal. It was one of those moments where I was just like “Wow. I’m in Nepal, on a rooftop, praising my savior, and spending time with Him alongside people that were strangers not too long ago.” Now they are family. Almost everyday I have this moment of pure shock, awe and appreciate for where the Lord has me, how I got here and just the fact that I’m on the other side of the world.
Anyway, back to our first day of ministry. After our time with the Lord we took two public buses(let me tell you, those things were packed FULL. And when I say full I mean, there were probably 10-15 more people than should have been. We took a 15 passenger van and for the majority of the ride it had 38 people in it. Yeah…) and headed to our actual ministry site, which was a mountain that overlooked the entire city, there’s a temple at the very top of the mountain and our ministry was to hike up the mountain, and pray for the city, the people, the temple and the people that would visit the temple.
Now, this hike we were told was going to be small… and what I thought was not at all what it was. Now, for people that hike/trek often this was probably nothing but for even some of the people on the squad that are in pretty good physical shape, they were winded. Now, I’m not in great shape and from the bottom of this mountain, I had no idea how high up we were going and I didn’t really even look up to see how high it was. Well, 5 minutes in, I was breathless. I was going up a very steep part and was probably the 5th person from the very front of the line our of our group of about 60 people so no matter how out of breath I was, I couldn’t stop. It was hard. But with every step, as difficult as it was and as much as I felt like I couldn’t go one step further, I took that next step.
I finally got to the half way point and took a rest.( Now, one thing I didn’t mention about Nepal is that the air is SUPER polluted. I can’t even breathe properly just walking down the street at a normal pace, much less fast paced up a mountain where the air continues to get thinner on top of the crazy pollution.) Once I stopped to take a breath and gather myself a bit, I felt myself tearing up. I felt so weak but I visibly saw and felt myself continuing to move even when I thought I no longer could. A minute or two later my friend Katie walked up to me, put her arm on one of my shoulders, took me by the hand, looked straight at me and said “You did it! We did it.”
It reminded me of the love and care my Father has for me. He walks through life and the hard things with me, and when I’ve finished the hard part, he looks at me lovingly and says “you did it!” When I felt like I couldn’t walk another step, I did. I know it was Jesus’ strength in me.
I regrouped and continued to head up the mountain, this time up a series of steep steps, and began to realize how much I discredit myself so often. I see something that I think will be hard and I automatically think I can’t do it. Instead of just doing it and leaning on the Lord for the strength I don’t have. I talked a little bit about this in a vlog that I made which will be up soon, but I think in that moment I missed one of the most important lessons of the day.
I was trying so hard to rely on myself. Instead of just going before the Lord, and asking for His strength. It’s true, I can do more than I give myself credit for. But in the times that I literally can’t do it, He can! And He will.
This month in Nepal and throughout the rest of the race and my life, I want to be more aware of the times the Father is walking me through things. Being my strength and helping me take each step. So often I miss that and just don’t even think about it. Not only have I been discrediting myself, but more importantly, I’ve been discrediting my Father.
Remember, when you feel like there’s something you literally, and physically cannot do just rely on the Father’s strength. He’s got you.
