Wow. Here I sit, at my dinning room table just 4 days away from training camp. The house is surprisingly quiet right now, all 6 of my siblings that live here are resting quietly. They are loud and crazy most other times and I’m most definitely going to miss both the loud, crazy moments as well as the calm, quiet ones. As I sit here I am reminded of the fact that for the next few weeks this will be one of my very few “me time” moments that I’ll get. Which is really just preparation for next year. But I am so excited!!
I’m excited to meet my teammates, to hang out with them, the laughter and jokes and memories that will be made.
For squad wars(S squad is the best squad!)
I’m excited to sleep in my tent, on my sleeping pad inside my awesome sleeping bag that I’ll be using for the next year.
I’m excited to learn and grow with my teammates and to see the way God works on my heart at training camp.
But I’m also really scared and slightly sad….
Sad to leave my siblings and miss my sister McKayla’s 10th birthday.
I’m struggling because one of the days I’m away at training camp will be the 5 year anniversary of my dad’s death and I won’t be home to cry and go to his grave and just be alone. Listening to his favorite music, remembering him, eating his favorite foods…
I’m also really nervous about meeting my teammates, nervous that they won’t like me or that I won’t get along well with them.
I know God is going to work in my life and on my heart at training camp and on the race. Which is good! I’m excited for that and the change that will occur in me! I’m also scared though because that means that He’ll be breaking down the walls of my heart, bringing out the yuck and ugly that’s inside of me. I don’t want to see that, I don’t want others to see that… But I’m also excited for that because that means I can work on those things and fix my heart. I know I have a lot to work on but I am willing to and want to make those changes!
I’ve heard that we may or may not have showers at training camp and if we do, they’ll be questionable. (I know, yuck!) but this is just preparation for the race. I heard of a team that during their last month on the race didn’t have showers all month and had to fly back to America having not showered in a month! Crazy right?! As gross as that is, I’m so pumped to have that opportunity. To let go of all of the things I take for granted, all of my comforts for the sake of bringing Jesus to everyone I meet.
Training camp is going to be a blast! But it’s also going to be hard, exhausting, and stretching. I’m going to have so much fun but I’m also going to be sad, tired, missing home, missing my bed, my friends, my car, Netflix(I’m only kind of kidding about this haha) and all the comforts I’ll be leaving behind.
The coolest and yet scariest thing about training camp is that it is all preparation for the actual Race that starts in just 2 months and 2 weeks!! The things and people I’ll be leaving, all of the comforts like american food, familiar things, my bed(I really love my bed if you could’t tell haha), the birthdays and even holiday’s that I’ll miss, warm showers, smelling nice, pretty make-up, cute clothing, conversations with my mom in the kitchen when I’m stressed or sad or just want to talk to her, time with my family at my grandparents house, my silly family (both sides) and just so much more. I’m scared and sad for those things. But I’m also super excited because I also know that this trip is a once in a lifetime thing! I’ll be meeting thousands of people from all over the world, I’ll travel to at least 11 different countries, I’ll make tons of new friends, try tons of new foods(which if you knew my dad at all, he LOVED trying new food and always made me try something new.), I’ll experience Jesus in ways I never have before, I’ll learn how to live with very few things, make tons of new memories, I will tell hundreds, thousands about the love that Jesus has for them! I’ll see and experience some of the coolest things that I’ll ever have the chance of doing and seeing. I may not always look nice or smell nice but what does that matter when my Savior is being glorified and He is using me to bring others to Him?!
So yes, training camp will be hard and so will the Race. But it will be SO worth it! I thank the Lord every day for the opportunity to serve Him in this way!
Thank you all for being apart of this amazing journey with me! 🙂
