What?! I don’t want to get married?! Ok, so that’s not entirely true…my perspective has just changed a little. If you know me at all, you know that I have a huge desire to be a mom and a wife one day.
I was sitting outside yesterday reading my bible when the Lord brought the verse Colossians 3:2 to my mind and some serious heart convictions started happening. Colossians 3:2 “Set your mind on things above, not on things of this earth.”
The past year has been a difficult one in terms of relationships, I so badly desire to get married one day and for a while of being in a serious relationship with someone who I really loved, I felt like I was moving in the direction of marriage. When the Lord took that relationship away, marriage was obviously not in the near future. Now a year later I find myself thinking about marriage and a future relationship so so often. To be completely honest, the idea is consuming my thought life way too often.
I also have lots of friends that are either just married or are getting married soon, this is hard for me. Don’t get me wrong, I am so so so happy for these friends and happy to be apart of their special day and new exciting adventures with the person they love. But it’s definitely a struggle.
I find myself longing for a relationship and the idea of a future with kids and a nice house and a handsome husband. These are earthly things, none are things above. Yes, God created marriage but it is still a thing of this earth not a heavenly thing.
Is it wrong for me to have these desires?
No. Not at all.
God wants us to have these things, He wants us to be happy. But He also tells us in Matthew 6:33 “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you.”
If I am seeking Him, Obeying Him, Loving Him and the things He loves, doing what He asked me to do then the rest will fall into place.
Psalm 37:4 “Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”
And I know these things but my perspective has been all wrong. I’ve been in the mindset of “Ok kierstin, do what He asks, please Him, serve Him and then He’ll give you this guy back that you love.” Or “Once you’ve done this He will give you a husband and a family and a nice house.
No. I am so wrong. That’s not how this works.
I shouldn’t be doing these things just because I know that if I do them, He will give me what I desire. I should be doing them because my desire is to please Him, serve Him, and obey Him. Then all those things that I also desire will fall into place.
It’s ok to have the desire to get married, It’s ok to want kids. What’s not ok is to let it consume you to the point where those things are driving what you do for the Lord.
Delight in Him.
Set your mind on things above.
Seek the Kingdom of God.
The rest will come in His time.
