I felt hesitant wanting to write a blog like this because I don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression about this month, but I also am an honest individual and the more I thought about it the more I want future racers to know that there may be a time when you want to give up on the Race.
I was ready to pack my bags at the beginning and at the middle of this month.
Why? Here are a few reasons, not really any good ones, but nonetheless the reasons…
- I left my heart in Vietnam
- One of my “strengths” on that Strengths Finder test is “Futuristic” and so I tend to dwell on things of the future: What will I do? I could be starting ministry RIGHT now. I could go home and stay with family before I head off again to serve. God do you want me to serve overseas? Father, what do you have for me?
- I was TIRED of community living, and at times it was just getting hard.
- I felt like I was stuck spiritually, like my surroundings reflected the way my heart felt: dry and barren. How could this be?
I had the mentality that “the grass is greener on the other side…”
But guess what future racers, it ain’t. And you’ll miss out on a lot of the race if you choose to have that mentality and BELIEVE that it’s better.
This month, I lived in a village in Cambodia, with no running water, no electricity, living in tents, we taught kids English in the blazing hot sun, led Bible studies with local women, and did home visits around the village, and for the last two weeks I really loved it.
But I missed out on the first two, mentally and emotionally, because I let my focus wander to the future, the “what if’s”, the being tired of my community, my personal problems etc. And I could have drowned the entire month if I would have kept it up. I believe I missed out on REALLY loving those village kids, going the extra mile with them, and investing into their little lives. If there is one regret I have on the Race, it’s this one.
The Race is what you make it. Period.
Here’s the truth: you will get sick of community, at some point, you may get homesick, at some point, and you may want to say “I’ve learned all I need to learn…”, at some point…But…
God won’t do anything spectacular if you’re not willing to be apart of it and work for it, and when you want to give up the most choose joy.
Perseverance ain’t easy friends, but it’s godly. It produces endurance, character, and joy. It will produce something in you more closely resembling Christ.
Don’t give up. Don’t let the enemy lie to you that it will be perfect all the time or let him lie to you that it will be easier to give up.
