This month my team, alongside another team (BBH), were in the Philippines and we were only the second set of teams to ever visit this ministry. And we’ve been doing a lot of work projects, dabbling some in the community, but more so working around this ministry to help give it “lift” (like an elevator) so that it can become a full fledged ministry in the future. So, we have had the opportunity to be apart of laying down the foundation, physically.
I’ve come to expect that no matter what it says on the piece of paper about the ministry we will be a part of it will probably not look like what I envision in my brain.
And, for once, my expectations have been met: it’s not what I imagined. I imagined that I would be immersed in the Filipino culture by day 4, seeing miracles, and constantly be playing with precious babies and ministering to the people. Mmm, well, guess not.
But speaking of expectations, the reason I wrote the last blog I did is because I felt like at the beginning of this month I started to kick and scream like a small child because I wasn’t living in a tent, again, I didn’t have to have a bucket shower, I didn’t find myself being stretched so thin in ministry because of how much we were pouring out, and so I found myself scribbling furiously in my journal “THIS ISN’T WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR!”
With arms crossed, hip to the side, and an eyebrow raised, I probably had the ultimate stank face going into this month.
While it may sound crazy to you that I actually crave to live in my tent, have bucket showers, and feel so depleted at the end of each day, that’s exactly what I expected and often crave for on this Race. I mean, I’m a freakin missionary right??
And I’m not so sure that I have some cool “God point” to this blog or month, but maybe it’s simply that if I go on thinking that this Race is about what I want/expect and nothing lives up to that potential I’ll literally have the Race ruined for me, by me.
So in the midst of my kicking and screaming I have realized that if I came home with more stories about how HARD the Race was because of my situations instead of more stories about how AMAZING God is and what HE did while I was out here then I would need to ask myself why did I come on this trip in the first place?
So, are you ready for a couple of stories? I hope so.
One day, my team and I went to this unbelievable mall that is an hour away from us by Jeepney (this crazy long jeep with open windows, open back, and seats that face each other…why don’t we have these in America?) to get internet and just hang out. Well, I spotted an open chair in Starbucks (I know, I’m really struggling out here…) and it happened to be by this sweet older gentleman who tried to start up a conversation with me about life, but his English was hard to understand and his voice was so quiet, but I gathered that he was waiting for his daughter to come get him soon. So, silence fell upon us and soon thereafter a younger woman walked in and she sat down next to him and stared at me, with a small smile on her face. “Hi, my father was texting me that he was trying to speak English with a girl, so I am here now to help.” I almost laughed because it seemed so funny that these people wanted to actually talk to me, of all people.
Beth, his daughter, bought me some coffee and we sat down and began to chat in broken English about random things in life, asking me about where I was from, why I was in the Philippines, and then about Jesus. She told me that she had been a follower of Christ for a while but for 2 ½ years had lived in Hong Kong as a housekeeper and, from what I could gather, she believed she had been living disobediently and now the Lord was disciplining her because He loved her and was refining her faith.
I nodded and listened, not sure what she needed or wanted me to say. After talking about her troubling times in Hong Kong she then looked at me and said, “Have you ever gone through trials or troubles that He has given you?” I said yes and confessed my troubles of how I believe the Lord is being silent in my life right now and wondering what my spiritual gifts are. And she stared at me intently and said, “My sister, can I tell you something? I do not think it was by chance that we met today…” and she then told me of the gift she believes Jesus has given to me, encouraging me to walk in that and live confidently in that, repeating “it is not by chance that we met today.” I agreed. I needed the encouragement and so did she.
I then asked Beth if I could pray for her, and she quickly said yes, so we prayed in the middle of Starbucks, asking Jesus to strengthen her, refine her, and lead her. And after I was done praying I looked up and Beth was weeping. She had never felt so loved in her life. She needed to hear that Jesus was indeed directing her life, leading her down the path He wants, and that there was someone else to listen and point her to Christ. Her tears pierced my heart and she told me she loved me and hugged me. How did I deserve such a chance as that?
The next story I am still processing because I feel like it was a dream sometimes. Three of my squadmates and I traveled with one of the neighbors we met recently, Arlene, a 50 something year old woman who is single and loves Jesus, to a little town 20 minutes away because she often goes and visits the people who live there, prays for them, tells them about Jesus, and feeds them. So we definitely wanted to see what God was up to in this town.
Well, we had the chance to hang out with a bunch of shy kids and pray for some of their mothers. Then, along came Fe (Fe-e). She was having anxiety attacks because of this pastor in their town, who was harassing her for money and while she was no longer going to this church she wanted prayer for the anxiety. So 3 of us girls prayed for her, and after we were done I asked her if I could hug her and she smiled and grabbed me and said in my ear “I love you.” Warmth.
Then it seemed like God was just getting started, Arlene then pointed over our shoulders and said, “There’s Fe’s husband, he’s blind.” And sure enough here comes Fe’s husband gripping the shoulder of their son being led behind him. This was Oscar, blind since the age of 3. We asked if we could pray for him, he agreed, even though from what we understood he didn’t really follow Jesus because “he was too busy.” But I knew Jesus still performed miracles on those who didn’t even know who He was, and that’s what we wanted for Oscar.
So we prayed.
A little bit later we all said amen and looked up at Oscar. After a couple of moments his face lit up and he said he could see light and that though everything was murky he could see light. He said his heart and head felt lighter as well. I covered my mouth because I almost screamed. Could it be true?? We prayed again and again.
Did Oscar recover his sight? No, but Jesus gave him something better: hope. That was the closest thing I had seen to a miracle since being on the Race, and sometimes I think, “did I make that up? Did Jesus really do that??” because I have never seen something like that before. I still have hopes for Oscar, and I am so thankful that God allowed me to see something so small such as that, but something probably so significant to Oscar.
My ultimate prayer after this month: Let this not be the end of something spectacular, Jesus, regardless of what I want or expect.
