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Man, the Holy Spirit does not disappoint when I have asked for inspiration for my blog posts!

This was a hard, American, first-world problem kind of day, but it had an oh so beautifully scripted lesson in store for me, that I now get the opportunity to share with all of you. 

And, make no mistake, I know that it was definitely in preparation for  Easter Sunday and what that day actually means to followers of Christ all over the world. 

So, at my place of work I get the chance to serve many, many people and make their day, but as we all know not all days go as smoothly as we would like them to be. Some days, other people are having bad days and you can't make it better, and some days you just mistakes that you can't make up for besides an apology and a promise to make it right next time. This was one of those days.

I cried in front of a customer.

Hiding, I cried by myself in the bathroom.

And hiding, I cried while washing dishes. 

I could not hold it together. And I don't cry often.

And my day had even started off extremely well: laughing and joking with my fellow co-workers, making customers smile in the dark hours of their tired mornings, and finding enjoyment in simply just doing my job.
But that all changed when I went on my lunch break and I felt like I needed to pray for a good attitude, strength, and courage to shine Christ's light throughout the rest of my day …


… and I couldn't explain why I felt like I needed to pray that … at the time …
 
As soon as I hit the floor after my break, I knew exactly why … Frustration rose to a whole new level and I felt like I couldn't get one thing right. I felt like I was drowning in myself and no one could help pull me out, I felt like my prayer had gone right down the drain.

No one was being sympathetic,

Customers didn't understand,

I felt so stupid,

I felt defenseless,

I felt like all the positivity had run out of my body. 

I was CRYING, AT WORK!! How humiliating!


KIERSTEN, GET IT TOGETHER

"Kiersten, my sweet daughter, you are experiencing the smallest taste of my walk to the cross"
 
Wait, seriously? 
 
"Do you think I can't understand what you're going through?
My child, do you not remember that I am the Lord who
was defenseless, humiliated, misunderstood, and forsaken?
For you."
 
 

Silence.

I felt frustrated and relieved at the same time. God, why wouldn't you make me go through something much worse to give me that kind of lesson?? But Oh Lord, how could I ever forget that You DO get me, You DO understand, and You went through all my worst days in ONE?! I am the one who doesn't understand. 

I walked out of work, peaceful, that He would so gently remind me, by allowing me to have a mildly hard day, of the tiniest taste of what He endured for ME, for MY freedom in Him, for my darkest days to be not so dark after all. 


And then, when I got home all I wanted to do wash my sore feet.
Sitting down on the edge of my bathtub I almost cried washing them.
Laying my face between my knees I remember what Jesus did for His disciples before He died.
He washed their feet. He poured out His love over their sore feet, knowing that what
He was about to go through was going to make their darkest days brighter.

 

It was like He washing my feet. He Knew  Knows, He Got It Gets It, He Understood UNDERSTANDS.

Thank you for being forsaken, hated, left alone, misunderstood, beaten, humiliated, and defenseless for my freedom.

Thank you for ALL of my bad days that I get to know You more, Jesus.


I love Your Love for me.