New-ish month, new blog: What God has been teaching me in my season of unknowns.
This week I returned from my mini-travels back home to start my job searching and applying for substitute teaching after recently graduating.
To say anxiety crept up on me is an understatement. I thought I had come to terms with the fact that I had NO idea what to do with my life beyond the World Race, and I know in my heart He has a plan, whether I am qualified or not, but I couldn’t shake the discouragement I felt and the uncertainty of my entire future existence (just being dramatic).
Transition is always difficult, but with this newfound freedom, I have felt an abundance of newfound fear. I knew the devil was attacking me with discouragement and feelings as if I had somehow failed, and there was just so many lies coming at me that I knew where it had to be coming from. So of course, when I felt the heaviness come out of nowhere and literally wake me from my sleep, I went straight to the Bible. I asked God to send me peace, reassurance, anything to shake this feeling- maybe a new passage in the bible that says, “this is what you will be doing in the future.” After some prayer I needed to get up and get ready, so I continued asking for some answers or at least some peace despite the lack of answers.
It was Sunday morning so I headed over to help babysit before church. While the kids were sleeping, the Hillsong Channel was on and this Pastor said some things that provided me much needed encouragement, he said:
1. Delay is not Denial.
He mentioned how sometimes delay is just getting you ready for the right time, it does not mean what you hope for will never be fulfilled.
These things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day! Habakkuk 2:3
2. The position God has for you, will be reserved for you.
No matter when we arrive, no matter if we detour to the left or right, wherever God wants us to be, that spot will be open for us! Great news!
—– Fast forward to church.
Between 2nd and 3rd service, I passed by a few families standing in the hallway on my way to get some coffee. While pouring this marvelous substance, a man and his daughter passed by me and I kind of felt like he was waiting for coffee or something so I hurried up to get out of the way. I was going to make my way to see some friends who usually attend 2nd service while I waited for 3rd but I heard a soft, “Ma’am, ma’am” from behind me. I turned around and the man and his daughter were standing there. I got out of the high traffic area, and walked over to them.
He said “I saw you in the hallway just a little bit ago, passing by and I felt God wanted me to tell you something. He wants to say that He is proud of you and He loves you. I know you are in a time where you have a lot of unanswered questions, or you are really seeking answers on some things, but He wants you to know how much He loves you.”
It was exactly what I needed to hear.
The fact that God would go out of His way, to make a stranger go out of their way… just to tell me He loves me stopped every lie of the enemy. It’s almost funny that I am over here worrying about the future and worrying about being a success or a failure, and God is all along saying “I am proud of you.” So if you already know- GOOD. If you forgot, as we all do sometimes, God is proud of you. His way might not look like the rest of the worlds, but we can always rest assured that we are loved and that He is pleased with us. In the famous words of Christ Tomlin He is a “Good, Good, Father.”
I’ve heard a thousand stories of what they think you’re like
But I’ve heard the tender whispers of love in the dead of night
And you tell me that you’re pleased
And that I’m never alone
You’re a good good father
It’s who you are, it’s who you are, it’s who you are
And I’m loved by you
It’s who I am, it’s who I am, it’s who I am
I’ve seen many searching for answers far and wide
But I know we’re all searching
For answers only you provide
‘Cause you know just what we need
Before we say a word
How many people can you tell God’s truth to today? How many people do you know who just need to be reminded of their identity? A lot could happen by being more intentional and observant when people pass by.. even if just in the hallway.
ALSO- please pray about A. Financially joining me on this mission trip (donation link to the left of my page)
I need to raise $5,000 by May!
or B. Sending me your email to join my prayer support partners…
THANK YOU! I have amazing supporters 🙂
