The ministry we are doing here is for kids with a wide range of backgrounds. This past week they were all from a city/town in Albania where the families had moved recently from the mountains into the city and took land by force. We were told that they were going to be a poorer, rougher, and rowdier group of kids. They all happened to be Muslim as well. On the first night I can honestly say I was a little scared when they were all running around and speaking more English than the groups we had had before. Then came Friday when we had to say goodbye to our kids. I tried so hard not to cry but it wasn't really an option. Jenny was the hardest for me to say goodbye to. She was my favorite. I loved hearing her yell "Kiki! Kiki!" from across the compound. Her precious little heart taught me so much while we were together. She also showed so much patience while she was teaching me some Albanian. She also taught me about the power of having warmth in your eyes. Jenny has the greatest and most expressive eyes.
I don't know what Jenny's home life is like.
I don't know if she is going to be okay.
I don't know if food is always on the table.
I don't know how her parents speak to her.
I do know that I looked my precious little sister in the eyes and told her that Jesus loved her. With confused eyes she looked up at me. I didn't know if this was from the language difference or because I had failed at my job and a sickness filled my stomach. I though for sure I was gonna throw up. I repeated myself and held her face, "Jesus loves you Jenny. Do you know that?" She nodded her head. I pretty much lost it at that point.
Jenny hugged me tightly, kissed me on both cheeks, and began to repeat over and over "I love you Kiki" in Albanian.
In that moment I honestly didn't want to be anywhere else and wanted to be anywhere else but there at the same time. I have never felt so frustrated and lost.
I was helpless and I was seriously questioning if I was really called to this.
There is no way I would be able to handle this on a weekly basis…
In my weakness He is made strong.
Jesus tells us in Matthew that the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like children. The World Race is about building the Lord's Kingdom and becoming a group of people who are Kingdom minded.
Jesus also says "let the children come. Don't stop them." In Luke he says that anyone who welcomes a little child In his name is also welcoming him and his father.
With the promises of my Father I want to have that same response.
Let the children come because the Kingdom belongs to them. I will place my hands on their heads and bless them before I leave and I will let the Lord be my strength in my huge weakness.
The Lord is going to take care of Jenny. He is going to provide for her where I can't. He has promised to never leave her or forsake her. The Lord sees the light in Jenny's eyes and I got to be a part of planting a small seed in her heart. I love this trip. I'm where the Lord wants me.
