We all have blind spots. Too often those unproductive behaviors are invisible to us but are glaring to everyone else. Sure, I am aware of a few personal characteristics that determine how I behave from one situation to the next.

Are these actual “blind spots”?

Should I change my behavior to avoid negative consequences to personal relationships?

Or, am I hiding behind my “personality” in order to resist change?

That’s the accusation…along with not investing myself fully. The problem is, I’m not allowing my team to get to know me better. I admit that. The fact that I’m not very emotionally expressive is a major issue. (Be reminded, I described this in my “50 Things…” blog so I’ve been honest about this too.) Despite popular belief, I'm not holding back my emotions. I don't have an emotional reaction to share…I haven't expereinced it. Bear with me through a self-awareness check in an attempt to identify and overcome damaging behaviors. I’m a nerd so I started by researching reasons why people resist change.

Common Reasons For Resisting Change

Green = Accept. Red = Deny

• Fear of Change: Nope, I’m on the World Race!

• Low Trust: Without the emotions as back up, my thoughts/words are unheard or not believed by others. I can't trust my team mates…most other people too…will accept my words as truth.

• Misunderstanding About the Need To Change: I won’t be true to myself if I change my behavior to suit what others believe. Besides, what good can come from being overly emotional? My goal is to become closer to God, I don't want anything to take my focus off that.

• Exhaustion/Saturation: Complying out of exhaustion or giving in and going with the flow externally but without any real change. If I do that, I'll actually be presenting someone other than my true self.

• Fear of Losing Control or Status: Do I fear losing emotional control and its effect on how others perceive me? Gosh, I don't have a firm answer to that.

Remember, green means I own up to the behavior and red means I do not own the behavior. Correct me if, I am wrong.

Even bigger questions are…

Will my inability to connect with my team, in the ways they and our leaders want, limit the work that God will do through me on the World Race? Will it place any limitations on my team mates?

Will I be “real” if I force myself to behave “more emotionally”? How can my team get to know me better if I'm lying about who I am and how I "feel"?

What's the root of my inability to experience extreme emotional highs or lows?

Shouldn’t I just wait for the natural and genuine “newness” that comes by walking with God?

What do you think?