I am so tired. I have nothing to give; nothing to say. I have been traveling for 437 days with no consistence besides the Lord. So many things have been stripped away from me: American Dream, a ring I made when I was 14, my idea of comfort, my way of viewing reality, my independence, the desires of my heart, ANOTHER ring, and now my Bible. I have gone to 14 countries, 3 continents, and crossed the international date line. I say all of this to show you how Raw and Vulnerable I am.
My identity (the false one I constructed) was reduced to rubble. And every time I try to construct a new one God in his great Love wrecks those with exquisite precision. I am tired of seeming like I have it all together. I am stumbling in the Dark only following the still small voice of my Shepherd and King. I lost so much but what I have gained is better.
I have gained the freedom to be myself regardless of circumstance. The Kingdom Dreams for my life. The truth about reality. Dependence on and absolutely faith my heavenly Father who will only ever do what is best for me. And a real relationship with the man that has changed me so radically that my self-image has not caught up yet.
So, as I struggle today I don’t want your prayers to alleviate the pain of the circumstance. I want you to pray the work that God want to be done in my heart will be complete. That if need be He will continue to take Everything that is in the way of me having true fellowship with him each and every day.
I will not settle for anything less.
Pray that I get out of the way of what the Lord wants to do in my life. Pray that the Lord gets all the Glory of our lives, that we shall boast in nothing but the Greatness of Our God.
Because this Journey and the work I am doing and has been done in me has nothing to do with me. Every Blessing has been poured out from Heaven.
P.S. The Boy Scouts of Madagascar found it and gave it to our Translators. So, the Bible was missing for 12 hours. So, it was long enough to break down and have this break through.
