Control is an illusion. I learned this from watching Kung Fu Panda with a bunch of Ukrainian village kids. You can plant seeds, water flowers and work your whole life gaining authoritarian positions but you can’t make plants grow nor change circumstances determined by a power much higher than yours. What happens when that power takes everything you’ve ever treasured?
Would you fall on your knees and worship God?
Get angry and curse the heavens?
Determine a scapegoat to levy the guilt upon?
Drown out your sorrows by becoming completely inebriated?
We arrived at the train station expecting to leave for Targu Mures at 10:30pm but found ourselves boarding nearly 9 hours later. Starting the day as a routine travel day turned into an adventurous debacle. For reasons beyond my control, Shofar 1:5 and GLOW spent the night in an ambiguous train station in Bucharest, Romania. With our big packs hiding purses and any valuable items, we hunkered down alongside a concrete wall for what ended up being a very memorable night.
Looking back I wish my reaction to the lack of control was of love rather than frustration and anxiety. There were several outreach opportunities I failed to grasp because of my heavy heart. First, a drunkard (looked like Super Mario’s grandpa) came up to our group wanting to chat it up in Romanian. He offered me his beer and cracked some jokes (no idea if they were funny) before we led him away from the group and out of the train station. Later a mute and his friend in a wheel chair came up to us begging for money. We declined to give (they apparently had enough money to buy beer) but they still stayed to show off magic tricks. Another opportunity came outside the station when myself and another teammate needed to find a tree (no bathrooms anywhere). Apparently two guys out at 4am looking suspicious around a park attract new friends willing to give you favors for money. We thought it best to go back to the station but part of me now wishes I would have stayed to tell them about why we’re here and to truly love them the way Jesus Christ would have.
It’s easy to become bitter or resentful when life doesn’t go the way you want it to. I’m still learning when my will is destroyed by God’s providential hand, the best response is simply to realign my spirit with His.
