God is real. If you’re reading this, you probably know that, or at least think you do. I’ll be honest, I am not sure that realization had fully hit me until training camp. I have been a believer a really long time, and maybe you have to. But have you ever just sat there and thought to yourself, “What do I ACTUALLY believe”.
Trinity? Check!
Jesus died for my sins? Discount double check!
Jesus rose from the dead three days later? “TRIPLE CHECK!!!!”
That God is bigger than you could possibly imagine, and yet listens to your prayers, and wants to know you on a fundamental level, despite the fact that you are a total mess, and feel completely undeserving of God’s attention or Christ’s sacrifice?
…Ummm, check?
Yeah, that’s about where I was at before training camp. Keep in mind I studied Bible for six years. I have freaking M.A. in Theology. Yet, I don’t know if I ever fully experienced God’s presence on a consistent basis until camp. I had no idea how dimly lit my life was until I finally turned the light on. I am emotional just thinking about it! I was lonely! I have great friends and an amazing family, but holy cow was there something missing. Something I couldn’t find outside of this loving community of believers. Just this weird void that felt unfilled. It occurred to me that I was trying to fill that void with the World Race. I was trying to fill it with good deeds. But guess what? Police, Firefighters, and even good old church-going folk do good deeds all the time, and they often times aren’t any more fulfilled than the people who spend Saturdays eating Cheetos and passing gas on the couch. My point is that I had it all wrong. My focus was not on my pursuit of God, but on getting that void filled. I thought if I had it filled, I would find God somehow. I felt like God was patiently waiting for me to show him my worth. But, God already knows my worth. He made me. God knew me before I was born. Now I am doing the World Race to glorify him, and not to make myself worthy of the kingdom.
With this overwhelming love that God has flooded me with, it forced me to ask some serious questions as things arose at training camp. What about healing? What about Satan? What about spiritual warfare or spiritual gifts? What about all the other things that modern Christians don’t like talking about? Well…it’s all real.
Ok, before all the non-Christian folk think I drank the kool-aid, let me say this. I am a skeptic of most things. I like being well informed before I make a decision. Maybe that’s why things sit in my Amazon shopping cart for months before I buy them, or why I went to school for six years and am just now starting understand what my professors were rambling about. I think some Christians have turned Godly things into a show and a business. I have never personally experienced miraculous healing, or legitimately spoke in tongues. But holy cow, I don’t doubt that those things are real. I only saw a tiny fraction of God’s omnipotence, and it was scary stuff! I saw and experienced things at training camp I couldn’t explain. I felt spiritual warfare, which was mitigated by prayer. I had people speak into my life about things I had never told anyone. I was led by God down the street and had a stranger cry as I was praying for him. Like a big burly beer-drinkin dude! Its all real….like all of it! What the heck?!
Now lets focus on the real issue at hand. What do I do with this newfound and profoundly weird realization? If I really believe that the Bible is the true word of God, then that means that the alternative of knowing Jesus is having Satan as your new landlord. How horrible of a person would I have to be to not share what I know to be true? How horrible of a person would I have to be to not vehemently poor myself into loving other people. I need to show the world by actions what being a Christian is about. I am not just talking about Bible thumping people in the face. Guess what? Your neighbor has probably heard of Jesus. But has your neighbor seen Jesus? Mine hasn’t yet. That’s on me. Now I want to show it on a global scale. I want to be like Jesus. I want to love people that have never known love, and teach people that have never been taught. I want to show this love through house building, education, counseling, medical care, and any other way in which I am called. I want to give up everything I have because I know its all real. That notion is so terrifying to me, yet so relieving. The world doesn’t revolve around me. It never did. God loves relationship. It’s time for me, AND YOU, to show the world what that looks like.
