The Lord has used my role as a team leader to not only develop leadership skills in me, but to also teach me about who I am in Christ. I have been learning what it truly means to be a leader and how to lead well. Let me give you some background and walk you through this journey of leadership that I have been on.
I never wanted to be a team leader on the World Race, frankly, it scared me. I didn’t want the responsibility or to have to make tough decisions that could upset people. The mere possibility of it scared me so much that it nearly prevented me from applying. But God did not care about what I wanted, he knew what I needed.
Fast forward to training camp. After going through all of the team formation exercises, I was asked to be a team leader. Initially, my pride and my ego were boosted by this, but soon enough I realized that one of my biggest fears about the race was coming true. Pray, I needed to pray and have a chat with God about this. After spending time in prayer, I knew that it was where God wanted me. So despite my fears, I accepted the offer.
I was still scared though, I did not believe that I was capable of being a leader on the race and doing it well. I was insecure and doubted myself. Eventually I came to the understanding that I wasn’t just doubting myself I was actually doubting God. It was God’s will that I have this role and scripture says that God will always be with me. He will not throw me into a situation and leave me or just sit back and watch me fail. I needed to learn to trust his plan and that he would be with me along the way.
During the first month on the race on Nepal I began to see this truth. The fear of being a leader and of the responsibilities that came with it were going away and I began to walk in the confidence of God. I was able to accept the fact that this was a big part of what the race was supposed to be for me all along. God wanted to teach me about leadership and grow me through the experience. I soon came to embrace the role, to enjoy it, and to love it. It was wonderful to experience the growth and see how God was using me to encourage others, to support them, and help them grow. God confirmed my place as a leader through this and through the encouragement and affirmation from my team mates. They respected me as a leader and told me that I was doing a good job.
All this did not mean that it was now smooth sailing. I continued to have my struggles as a leader during the first half of the race and there has been none bigger thus far than that of pride. I believe that pride is one of the favorite weapons of the enemy, especially in my life. It is incredibly destructive and so subtle sometimes. It affects my thoughts, my actions, and how I view others. I have been battling against the enemy in the area of pride for years and as a leader on the race it became very easy for me to be prideful. It has often been easy for me to claim credit for things and not give all the glory to God who is actually the one doing everything, not me.
The pride in me hit a real high point at the end of month four when the squad went through team changes. Part of the reason team changes are necessary is because several members of the squad are selected to be squad leaders and take on new responsibilities to support and lead the squad. I wanted to be asked to take on this role for one reason, pride. I wanted people to recognize me for my leadership and see how great I was. But once again God knew what I needed and did not care what I wanted. When I was not chosen for the squad leader position I was upset, frustrated, disappointed and whatever else and had little pity party in my mind. As I thought about it and prayed about it, it became clear that my motives were all prideful. It would not have done me any good to be in the squad leader role, in fact it would have done harm to me and those I was entrusted to help lead if I had. God showed be that he still has things to teach me about leadership where I am at, pride certainly being one of them. Also, there are more ways he wants to use me to advance his Kingdom with me as a team leader. These realizations help me began to see the new squad leaders in a new light, not resenting the fact that they now had a position that I want. I even became excited to see how God was going to use this role to work in and through them. It was beautiful to operate not from a place of pride, but in full joy of what God is doing in the lives of others’. Coming to this place of joy allowed me to enter month five in Swaziland with peace and an excitement to lead my new team.
I have learned so much as a leader these past five months traveling the world. Here’s a list of some of what the Lord has been teaching me:
1. Leadership is not about me, it requires humility
2. Trust in the Lord’s plan, for it truly is perfect
3. Finding joy in the successes of others is more satisfying than my own
4. Not to be controlled by fear, but to operate out of the confidence of God
5. Being vulnerable about my struggles is not a weakness, it is a strength
6. My attitude has a profound impact on others around me, especially as a leader
7. Not to seek the gifts and talents of others, but those that God gave me
8. A leader is not perfect
It has been a joy to be a leader for two teams on the race so far. Shout out to Fearless Love and Intrepidus, you have all helped me grow and helped to shape my life, I thank you for that. Love you all! I am excited for all that the Lord will show me through my role as a leader during the second half of the race, but for now it’s MANistry month for the men of G-Squad here in South Africa and I get a break from being a leader. I have taken off my leader pants and put on play clothes! I get to see what God wants to show me that while being a leader would not afford. God has extraordinary things in store for the men of G-Squad this month, I have no doubt.
