I didn’t think it would be difficult to leave India. The smell, the trash, the uncomfortable weather, and the food were all things that I struggled with last month and, when the time came to leave, I was happy to be rid of them. Additionally, thoughts of Thailand and the chance to explore the natural beauty of the beaches and landscape of Phang Nga and Phuket also made me look forward to leaving India behind. But then, in the midst these thoughts, I would think of the kids at the orphanage and the relationships I now had with our local ministry partners and when the day finally came to say goodbye, it was not as easy as I had originally expected it to be. It was a strange and unexpected feeling I got as we drove away in the bus, I was beginning to miss India.
Fast forward, I have been in Thailand for about a week and very much enjoying it. Our host family is simply wonderful, weather is cooler, food is delicious, I am doing construction on a church and, of course, the beaches are beautiful. Everything is as it should be, as I wanted it to be. We even got to checkout a Thai mall. But that’s when it hit me, “I don’t want to be here, I don’t fit in here.”
It was one of the nicest places I had been in since leaving the states; I saw nice cars in the parking lot, I was surrounded by nice stuff I would love to buy, and tons of shoppers ready to make their purchases. It was very much like a mall back home. Consumerism. And I was uncomfortable.
And then I found myself missing and longing for India. I missed the kids and the people I had met, but more than anything I missed the simplicity of my life in India. I missed the non-consumeristic mindset that had been created in me while in India. I missed having no pressure to spend money on frivolous things. I missed the freedom that I felt. I was happier with less stuff. I did not see it then, but, in that moment it could not have been more clear and I miss it.
Makes me wonder, two months in and I get weirded out by all this, what will things be like after the full eleven months and I get back to America??
