Sometimes, we have no idea what were missing out on. Sometimes, we think we’re missing out on everything.
Either way, God is the one moving. So fix your eyes on Him as He gives you full awareness of how He is working EXACTLY where you are.
Manila, The Philippines.
February 10, 2015
Off day! That meant we were headed to the beach. We didn’t have many specific expectations, but we wanted to have some time of fellowship, fun, relaxing, and seeing what the beach would be like in the Philippines.
On the drive there, we past a beach-looking town called Harbor Point. It reminded me of Port Aransas, TX, where my family has taken many beach trips before. The town had a large mall, lots of city, and also a Harbor filled with boats. We had tossed around the idea of wanting to go there, but it was along the bus route a few hours from where we were coming from and where we were going.
After 5 hours of travel, our two teams arrived at a hostel that resembled a tree house. (It was really cool!)
As we spent time on the beach, I started to feel the Lord pushing me to go back to Harbor Point. Specifically, to the Starbucks we noticed was there. This may sound weird.. but for those of you who know me, God does a lot of really cool things in my life at Starbucks! Lots of God-stories!
So I ask around on what everyone thinks, and Major decides to come too.
We started making our way the hour or so to the town of Olongapo, not too sure of where we were headed, what we were doing, or where we would stay. As we traveled on the large bus, a woman started preaching on a microphone in Tagalo (the language here in the Philippines). She came and sat down right beside us and began asking us if we would come to her church with her. She was Pentecostal, and the service was about to begin. Me and Major looked at each other, trying to decide if this was why God had brought us this way, or if there was still something else. It being late and us not having much direction, we decided to pass. The woman was adamant about us coming to meet her pastor, so she did not relent for the whole 30 minute drive!
When we finally got to the mall, we got some dinner and wandered around, ending up at Starbucks which wouldn’t be closing until midnight. We hopped over to the counter and asked the barista if we could just sleep in the store for the night. We explained our situation to the manager, but he kindly said that he couldn’t allow us to do it. (People in the Philippines are SO kind! Always!)
We sat down, both just asking God what He wanted us to do. We noticed a white man sitting at a table alone across the way. He was staring intently into his phone over a pair of glasses with headphones in and a blank notepad in front of him. We speculated on who he was, where he had come from, and why he was here. Finally, “Alright, Lord!”, I popped over to his table and sat down across from him with a friendly, “Hi!”. He took his headphones out of one ear and just stared at me. I pushed back the immediate response to run away and said, “so, me and my friend were wondering where you are from!?”
He was from the same town as Major!
We began talking with him, and listened to him share things with us until midnight when Starbucks closed.
The whole time he was speaking, God just kept putting it on my heart to pray for him. He wasn’t wanting answers, he thought he had all those. He wasn’t wanting freedom, his logic was too fun and consuming. But he WAS wanting love- as clear as ever. And the best way we could do that was by simply listening and giving him our time.
As he would randomly unveil pieces of his life, I couldn’t stop praying over his hurts that he was too logical to even feel. He had been abandoned by his parents and raised in an orphanage for most of his life, and when he finally found his parents he didn’t believe they were actually his. He had developed a long train of “conspiracy theories”, but regardless of what his mouth said, I felt like I could only hear his heart. He was lonely, looking for identity, and wanting solidity in his life- all of which I just wanted to scream “CAN BE FOUND IN JESUS!!”
I settled for excusing myself from the table, going into the Starbucks bathroom, and screaming into my hands instead. “God! I need YOU to show up! I can’t take this! He’s so restless. So hurting. And so lost! My words aren’t going to change a thing. I need YOUR SPIRIT to move. Show Stephen who you are and quiet my heart!!”
As I got back to the table, something started changing in our conversation. Stephen abruptly stopped what he was saying and starting commenting on what he saw in me. That I really cared. He started asking questions about my life, what I wanted in life, why I was there in the Philippines in the first place. Though the gaps he opened were small, it was so cool to see God opening little doors so he could hear some truth in the midst of his wrestling thoughts.
- I was a lucky girl to have him- though we told him COUNTLESS times that we were teammates, NOT dating in any way. He had two mouths and one ear 😉
After Starbucks closed, we still had no idea where we were going to stay for the night. We asked if he knew anywhere we could crash, and he lit up: “yeah I know the perfect place! I’ll take you there!”
He drove us to a small hotel he had once stayed in for a period of time alone. He paid for us to stay there, and proceeded to talk for another hour by the desk. Everything in his spirit said, “Don’t leave me, I don’t really want to be alone, what is my purpose here, I know there must be more to life!”
He thanked us multiple times for talking with him, when really all we had done is listened!
Being Jesus to people isn’t always giving them the answers. Sometimes it’s just bringing His presence and offering his love without explanation.
When your iPhone needs a new upgrade, it asks you first, “Software update available. Would you like to install now?”
You have to have enough storage space though! That means that in order to upgrade, you actually have to go through and delete a lot of the things in your phone memory: pictures, messages, apps… just so that you can get the upgraded software! Our hearts are just like this! When we need an upgrade, God simply tells us what is available to us. Then we have to choose to want it and install it. We oftentimes have to be emptied of a lot of things before we can even accept this installation because our hearts have been crowded out with a bunch of unnecessary things. So we have to sort through our hearts, let God search our hearts, and choose what to let go of in order to make room for the upgrade God is offering us. It’s hard! On my iPhone, I still have some pictures from almost a year ago saved on my camera roll. And every time I go to take more or get the upgrade, I have to make the decision to “let go” of those old pictures so I can have room for new things. It’s hard, I know! This is how it is with God too- we are asked to let go of things in the past so that we can have room for things in the present and the future.
God is offering you the upgrade! Don’t keep going without it, it’s available, it’s just unclaimed!
It’s scary to think that God gives us the freedom to choose. We could choose to go our entire lives without ever claiming what is ours. The victory, the upgraded self, the exciting life that is already ours, is just waiting to be taken hold of.
God has already told me that I am free, I am confident, I am bold, I am fun, I trust him, I bring joy to others, I have faith in His movement, I like dancing.. You get the point! But to think that this is only the beginning. That He has so much more that he is offering me in this short life than what I think I’ve already known and already walk in. I want the upgrade! I want more of His Holy Spirit living inside of me! Sometimes that means letting go of things in my past that I am still trying to figure out or still struggling with understanding. But that’s okay! Because as I let go, I’m making more space for HIM to unlock new things, open new doors, and show me how I have even more access to His presence than I ever thought I did.
So this is what I want for each of you reading this!
I want you to release what you don’t understand and claim what God is offering you NOW.
