The lense of God.
Different from my own lenses, different from the view of any person on earth.
I’ve become so aware that I don’t see myself the way God sees me.
I’ve been reminded of, and frustrated by, this realization daily during the last week or so.
God has brought me some beautiful moments while here in the mountains of Honduras.
Moments when my eyes see a whole new perspective. When I see something or someone, and it seems like the whole world stops around me as I take in the moment that I’m seeing through what feels like God’s eyes. A perspective where time does not exist and I can see people through the purest and clearest eyes of grace.
Moments when I don’t have my camera with me, I don’t have my phone with me, and I can just feel God in the present and see what He sees. My reaction then becomes to absorb what I’m seeing instead of to reach for a device to try and capture the moment. The more I’ve chosen to rest in these moments, the more God has shown me His eyes. Eyes that see such beauty before them that they don’t know what to do; the only comparison I can think of is a husband beholding his beautiful bride when she walks through the doors of their wedding ceremony. The groom is speechless and his eyes are filled with love. He doesn’t whip out a camera or let his eyes wander for even a minute. He just soaks in the beauty that he sees in that moment.
This is how God sees us always, as His beloved bride! He’s not thinking about what He needs to get done, what is next on His list, or digging through the thoughts of who He is looking at. He doesn’t question them, cast blame on them, or let His thoughts wander off to anything. God is fixated on His bride! He sees His children as children, no matter what their age, and covers them with grace instead of blame!
Looking into the eyes of Catherine, Evelyn, Elliot and countless others, I have experienced these same “eyes-filled-with-love-and-grace” moments. When one of the orphans, Catherine, spins a hundred circles, does a cartwheel, runs between my legs, pulls my arms around her for a hug, and then just looks straight up at me with a huge smile. I look at her and see beauty covered by grace, scars covered by healing, hurt covered by joy, and I know that God sees her as Becoming. He see what she is becoming, He tells her spirit what she can become in Him, He reminds us around her that we are all in processes of becoming more of who we are in Christ.
But when I see Catherine, I see something different. I see someone who isn’t hindered by what others tell her she should become. I see a girl who is free in her heart and spirit to just BE who God made her to be. And I long to be just like her.
So maybe it isn’t about becoming something great as much as it is about BEING who we are in Christ.
It’s become such a backwards game, where now we have to become who we were made to BE, whereas as kids, we had the freedom to embrace a lot of the things about ourselves that we learn as adults are not normal, mature, or acceptable.
I’ve got a story for you 🙂
Once upon a time, there was a tree.
Though it was small, it thrived off of the energy of those around it. It was planted by a running creek of water, and grew happily with other small pines in the area.
There was a girl who was traveling the world for a year, and loved Christmas and all the traditions that come with it. Having been away from home for 3 months and still being quite some time away from the Christmas holidays, she began dreaming about throwing a Christmas party to celebrate with fun Christmas traditions from back home. She thought of the music, the smells, the decorations, decorating cookies, watching Christmas movies, and her favorite part- having a Christmas tree.
Everday, she would ride up through the pine forest with her friends and her eyes would wander across the mountain upon mountain covered in pine trees.
“That one would be perfect,” she would think.
“That one is just the right size.”
“That one is already fallen over!”
But the people she was with wouldn’t budge- it was a law. No tree could be cut down in a national forest. It would be 10 years in prison to take one of these beautiful pines from its rightful place.
She grew increasingly disheartened as she prayed that God would just provide a tree for her party!
She kept asking her group:
“What about that one?!”
“How about this branch!?”
The answer stayed the same. It wasn’t an option. It would put the whole group in danger.
She continued to pray, “but God! I just want a tree! For my Christmas party! Please oh please provide one for me!”
He seemed silent. He seemed to be saying to wait.
Soon enough, it was the day of the Christmas party. It was to begin in just a few hours, and the girl still hadn’t gotten a tree. She began feeling so restless, like God didn’t care and neither did her friends.
As she made her walk back to the house to begin preparing for the party, she saw the young sapling out of the corner of her eye, planted down by the creek. In an instant, she decided to take matters into her own hands- this would be the perfect little Christmas tree!
“You are just perfect, little tree. You must be my gift from God. I’ve waited long enough.”
So she ran into the creek, broke the young sapling from its roots, and carried it all the way back home.
She laced it with a small string of lights she had kept in her backpack and set it in a bottle vase sitting in the corner of the room.
“Perfect!” She exclaimed with joy.
As she turned around, she noticed that everyone was looking at the tree: some in anger, some in laughter, some in disappointment, some in hurt, and some in confusion.
Her joy began to drain as she realized what she had done.
The tension grew as her disgruntled friend demanded answers.
“what have you done! Did you cut down that tree!?”
“I… Took it from… The ground.” Is all she could reply with.
He couldn’t believe that she would do such a thing- both to the little sapling and to their mountain parents. He stormed across the room, shut off the Christmas music that was playing, and took the speakers with him back away from the group, slamming the door to his room.
The girl went to talk to her mountain parents, only to find that they were saddened by her disobedience. After talking about the situation together, her mountain parents began to laugh.
“What is so funny!? I’m really sorry!”
“Little crazy one, we had a tree for you in our room. We wanted to help you, you just didn’t ask us for help!”
She could not believe her ears. They were supportive the whole time, she just needed to ask them!
God knew what she needed before she even asked, and if she would have just waited a few hours more, she would have found such a beautiful Christmas surprise waiting for her.
But because she took things into her own hands, the little tree she had cut down could no longer become what it was made to become- so she thought.
Within a few short days, her mountain parents helped her to throw together a Christmas party that will never be forgotten by her and her friends. One with music, cookies, a Christmas movie, decorations, Christmas dinner, and of course- the little lit up Christmas tree.
The day after the party, she and her friends took the tree, hid it in a guitar case, and brought it back down to the creek where she had found it. They replanted it there together, said a prayer of blessing over the sapling, and made a circle of rocks around it as a reminder to never again take something away from what it is to become.
The tree began sending down its roots all over again, and was given the chance again to become. To grow into a big strong pine tree.
Becoming what it was made to become.
