WREAKED by love pt.2

I was sitting in a little bistro in Czech Republic with my
Squad leader Noe. If you don’t know Noe, well he has a way to walk through your
walls and start to pull down strongholds in your life. This man of God is
crazy, but He gets the Father’s heart.

 

 

 

          (Noe and I with a random Roma baby)

   

 

Every month on the World Race is an adventure of God working
on your heart. The month before Czech Republic, I was in Romania and I was very
sick. I was still recovering from this sickness in Czech. The little girl
inside of me, who is wounded and hurting believed a lie that God abandoned me.

 

 

I could say very easily to those I am ministering to that
God loves them, but I could not accept that the Father loves me and thinks of
me not just a servant, but as daughter with all the benefits of being an heir
to His Kingdom.

 

 

I came on the World Race to be a servant, to serve and love
the least of these. However, I soon learned you could serve God even better
when it flows from a heart of a child because you know that you are loved and
when you know this reality, anything is possible.

 

 

Noe began to declare over my life that important afternoon,
“you are loved, you are loved, you are loved, and you are loved!!!” I was so
embarrassed because he got really passionate and loud. His voice echoed throughout
the little bistro, but also there was something within me that could not accept
these words.

 

 

 

 

Since that dramatic day with Noe, I decided to go on an
intimate journey with the Lord to discover who I am in him. It has taken a
while, but I know without a doubt that my daddy loves me. Even in this last
season where I was stuck in the desert, there was my Father constantly telling
me that I am His beloved.

 

 

Well time has passed and 11 months after the World Race I
started my Discipleship Training School with YWAM. The first week of school was
all about Father’s Heart. Ian Ross was our teacher. He works for Toronto
Airport Church or now Catch The Fire. 1994 there was a huge revival in Toronto,
Canada and the Spirit fell and stayed. Ian Ross was one of the influential
people within this revival and he has one of the most loving hearts I have ever
seen.

 

 

I sat in class and soaked up every word that came across
Ian’s mouth. I knew I was a mess of a person, shattered into a million pieces,
yet Jesus came to redeem me. Love sees the most disgusting parts of our hearts
and says, “I love you anyways.”

 

 

I knew I was walking into the middle of the circle where the
Father resides and it was like I was breathing for the very first time. I was
entering into the realm of His majesty and wonder and I broke down and all my
walls came crashing down.

 

 

During ministry time I was glued to the floor as the Father
washed His love over me. I was WREAKED and helplessly abandoned to my King. I
saw the Father and I looked deeply into His eyes and drank it all in. This is
my God and He loves me!

 

 

Ken Giror says in his book Reflective life, “Love comes when
we rest upon our Father’s chest; joy comes when we catch the rhythms of His
heart, peace comes when we live in harmony with the others.”

 

 

I have lived my life for 28 years for the love of others. The
truth is every human being was created with a chasm deep and wide within his or
her soul. It cries out in anguish, will anyone love me? Does anyone care?

 

 

Nevertheless, the reality of the truth is that you cannot
receive love from others, until you receive the love of the Father and He is
the only one who can fill the void.

 

 

The Father heart message is a journey. You are not going to
get it right away, but know that the more we come to Christ, the more we
discover that it is all about love. Don’t try and be good for God, fall in love
with Him.

 

 

“When you are ruin by the love of God, there is nothing to
go back to” -Ian Ross