I am a sinner saved by grace. I fully confess that I have done wrong. I have not only hurt people I am close to (especially my parents) but also I have broken the Father’s heart numerous times because of my sin.
I was a liar, cheater; I had foul thoughts and a consistent nagging spirit.
I knew something was wrong but continued the lifestyle I was used to. No one ever confronted me, so I continued to lie and continued to let the lie drown me in sorrow.
I couldn’t finish Bible College because I was an emotional wreck and I knew I needed to start my life over again. I moved back home, started a new church where no one knew me, just so I could get away from my past and my hurt.
Soon, while attending this church, I got involved on the worship team and a friend recommended reading a book called Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson. While reading this book I was confronted with the fact I had all this bondage and sin in my life. One day while reading, I saw a black shadow come towards me and it began to choke me. Eventually the dark shadow let go but this scared so deeply, that I threw the book across my room and there it stayed for several months.
I pushed my experience behind me and continued to serve the Lord in worship. My friend and I started a worship band and things were going well. For two years I didn’t think about the book and about my sin because again I started new and I wasn’t physically struggling with lying anymore.
During the summer season I was at my cottage. One night my sister began to manifest and I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if this was a demon or the Holy Spirit. I never experienced anything like this before. All I knew was that I was scared. I prayed for her and soon the manifesting stopped. But I had questions that needed answers.
I went to my pastor and said I was ready for a freedom session. For two days the darkness in my life was revealed. I had many strongholds and many fears but it was all revealed and there I was set free by the blood of the lamb.
I first asked the Lord into my heart when I was eight years old. I believe however that when I was set free from bondage, that was my moment of my true conversion. I didn’t understand the power of the cross before. I accepted Christ as my savior because it was expectant of me. I overheard my sister saying to my camp counselor that my parents were afraid that I would never become saved.
I became a Christian out of obligation not because of a repented heart. I didn’t understand the full reality of Jesus dying on the cross for me. While in my freedom session I heard the voice of God for the first time. And what he said has forever changed my life and is the reason why I want to serve him as long as I am on earth. Jesus said, “Back off Satan, she is mine.�
All these years Satan was accusing me and lying to me. When Jesus said that I am His, it changed my heart. I was so harden because I felt abandoned by Him. I looked to earthly things to satisfy me. I looked to people to fill in the void that I felt in my soul but in those few words all the years of shame was taken off of me and Jesus took me in His arms and whispered the words I longed to hear, “ I belong to Him.�
Now the ugliness was revealed and truth finally exposed. It was time for a brand new life in Christ. While in my freedom session I sent the darkness away for Christ to deal with and invited the Holy Spirit in my life.
Since then the Holy Spirit has been my best friend, counselor, guide and comforter. I am not saying I am perfect. There is still sin and there’s always a battle. Romans 8:9a gives the greatest comfort, “You, however are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the Spirit.� I am no longer bound to sin and have no obligation to it and it has no right over me.
I am God’s child (John 1:12)
I am Christ’s friend (John 15:5)
I have been justified (Romans 5:1)
I am united with the Lord and I am one spirit with Him (1Corinthains 6:17)
I have been bought with a price; I belong to God (1 Corinthians 6:19,20)
I am a member of Christ’s body (1 Corinthians 12:27)
I am a saint, a holy one (Ephesians 1:1)
I have been adopted as God’s child (Ephesians 1:5)
I have direct access to God through the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 2:18)
I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins (Colossians 1:14)
I am complete in Christ (Colossians 2:10)
Dear friends, Satan is a liar and he wants you to still be caught in his web. Ask the Lord to reveal his heart of love to you. Ask the Lord to save you, to redeem you, and rescue you. If you want freedom, God’s hand is there for the taking. As it says in the word, “truth will set you free.� John 8:31b
I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with working of the strength of His might which He brought about in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead, and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age, but also in the one to come. (Ephesians 1:18:21)
