Recently, my squad mate Kathryn went on a silence fast. During this time the Lord revealed to her what true beauty looks like. Kathryn studied the word beauty in the Greek and it means the “hourâ€� or thus associated with “being of one’s hour.”
I never thought of beauty in this way. I have pondered on it and this is what I have to say. Beauty is something that has driven me for years. I have tried all the beauty creams, including homemade so call “natural miracles.� I’ve tried every single kind of diet pill out there, just so I can lose weight and I’ve bought all the magazines with the latest fashion or fitness routine. Believe me whatever is out there I have done it. Soon the lie that I was not worthy crept into my life; I believed that I was not good enough and that these valueless objects would satisfy. This was all in search for beauty.
I am being vulnerable with this because I want people to be aware that these products are just gimmicks. There is no magic pill that will make you better, thinner or younger. God is the only opinion that matters and He clearly says that you are His bride and beloved. You are beautiful just the way you are.
I struggled for along time with self-image and I can honestly say that I hated myself. When I looked in the mirror, I loathed what I saw; therefore I hated the image of God. I tried for years to cover up the pain with band-aids that temporarily healed me but nothing could heal that deep wound. This wound was infected and spread like a disease over me.
I spent years of comparing myself to other women. I prayed often to God and asked Him why He could not make me thinner? Or why He created me with such huge thighs? God’s ear was full of my bitter complaining. I just could never be satisfied with my own beauty. I wanted to be like my skinny friends or like the models on the magazines.
This month, I especially struggled. I lost weight because I was sick and people began to make comments of how good I look. I often thought after they said these things “what was wrong with me before?� Nothing is wrong with me, but Satan was having his fun, because he knows that this is the area I feel the most hurt in.
Even today, I got a comment that stung. Someone said that I needed to lose weight and I thought, why does this keep happening to me? I am beautiful no matter what size I am and God loves me just the same.
First, I am here to say that Satan you are a liar and a thief and you have stolen too many moments from me and I will no longer hear your twisted voice and believe the lie that I am not beautiful or worthy of love.
Second, to every woman out there in the world, you are precious, living, breathing, beings that are made in the image of our Father and He loves you desperately. You can nod your head in agreement, but until it hits your heart you don’t know what these words really mean.
His love for you is written and sealed on your heart and it is beaming on your face. The glory of God shines around you. You are His child, who is made perfect and complete.
Beauty was never supposed to be complicated. The world took it and made it into something to achieve when it was a free gift, given by our Father.
