Know
verb (used with object), knew,known, knowing.
1.
to perceive or understand as fact or truth; to apprehend clearly and withcertainty:
I know the situation fully.
2.
to have established or fixed in the mindor memory:
to know a poem by heart; Do you knowthe way to the park from here?
Over the past 3 weeks I’ve been in Malaysia God has shown me so much in who I am, in who I see others as and how I treat others.
“She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” Genesis 16:13
Through being on the World Race God has shown me that I can’t love people until I love myself. And I did not love myself. I thought nasty things about myself. I was fat, ugly, I wasn’t good enough and no one wanted to be my friend. I tried to find my worth in people and when I didn’t find it, I didn’t care anymore. I was at the point of numbness and rock bottom. I actually really didn’t want to come on the race in August. I didn’t want anything to do with Jesus. I was so angry at the world, I was destructive and I wasn’t ready to let go of it.
Guatemala I set in my bed a lot and hid away, I loved my team but I found myself rejecting them in fear of them rejecting me. I didn’t invest like I imagined I would. In the process I hurt my loved one at home. I played the blame game and got angry because it was all I was feeling in the moment.
But I got my world rocked. My Squad leader really encouraged me to look into what God sees me as and the rest will fall into place.
I asked Jesus to reveal what he saw in me or if he even sees me.
I open up my devo for the day and the story was about Hagar.
Rachael Myers said it so well.
“Just like that, Hagar and her son were cast into the wilderness. Things had gone from good, to bad, to so bad that Hagar walked the “distance of a bowshot” away from her dehydrated and starving son because she couldn’t bear to watch him die.
“And as she sat opposite him, she lifted up her voice and wept.” (Genesis 21:16, ESV)
Have you been here, friends? Just completely out of options, not even sure where you went wrong in the first place? In desperate, desperate need of the Lord, but not sure if He even sees you? Or, is it hard for you to look on Hagar’s wilderness with anything but kind pity? You don’t understand it, because your circumstances have never been quite that dire.
God is right there. He sees her. Even in the driest desert, God sees Hagar.”
Ever since I read it, it changed my life. I realized that God sees me. He sees me! Not for what I’ve done or where I’ve been but he labels me as his child and he’s my father. He tells me I’m beautiful and that I’m worthy of his love.
I KNOW Jesus loves me and I hold on to that because no matter how I mess up and how many times I fail, I know I am not those things and I know who I am in Jesus. Even in the dark and hard places I might go, I rest in Jesus’s love and peace.
She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me. Genesis 16:13
