No one really prepared me for month 1 of the race. I don’t recall hearing how homesick and raw it would be. That community living on top of a new culture would just overflow your emotions. Month 1 left me feeling raw. I remember laying in bed one night and thinking “will this ever end, can I go home now?” Every day for a week I cried, I set at the factory we worked at and held back my tears, distracting myself so no one would ask “what’s wrong?” Because I could not explain without crying. The only way I got close to making it through the week was saying prayers to the Lord every time I felt the feeling. And the Lord has renewed me and yes sometimes I’m homesick but he shows me everyday that this is where I’m supposed to be. The time I have left here in Guatemala is about a month and a half, time is flying by. The love for this country grows on me everyday. If you would’ve asked me 3 weeks if I will miss this place I wouldn’t told you “heck no”. But now I know I will miss the people, the food, the landscape and mostly my host family. I’m realizing time is precious. On Tuesday September 29th we went into Ayapan. A day I won’t forget. It was Kids Day in Guatemala, we watched the children sing, dance and perform. It was like any other day. We all gathered by the soccer field to play games and hang out. I look over and see this man lying in the dirt. It took me by surprise. A second glance and a third and yet I’m still surprised. This man was not moving or breathing. I knew he was drunk and passed out but what kept me starring was that he wasn’t breathing. We all kept debating between each other if he was alive or not. But either way you can’t touch him. Because if you’re the last to touch him and he’s dead then you will be accused of murder. About 30 minutes passed and these thoughts still ran through my head. My heart was hurting and I just wanted to help. Finally he picked his head up and looked around. I sighed of relief. I didn’t know anything about mans story, his life or what he was struggling with. But what I did know is that night he got drunk, passed out and never made it home. Thoughts of thankfulness came through my mind. “Thank you Lord that I have safe and healthy parents that come home every night, thank you for the law and authority. Thank you for my life and all its blessing.” I suddenly felt a heart change about my life. But then I asked why me Lord? Why do I live a country full of rich and healthy people? why was I born into a family that loves me and takes care of me and my needs? Why me Lord? I didn’t understand. These people don’t know any better, they don’t know how to treat women or how to take care of their families, they don’t know the values and responsibilities of every day life. They don’t have resources and opportunities to change their life. It makes me extremely grateful that I have been raised in a house that loves the Lord. I get 3 meals a day, clothes on my back, a bed to sleep in, shoes on my feet and roof over my head. The things I’ve seen have almost been unbearable. We walk through homes and see dirt floors, trash everywhere, no bed, and they cook on the dirt floor with the little food they have. They either don’t have a father or they have one gets drunk and beats them. My heart has been heavy here in Xenacoj. But I know the Lord is here and working. Though I can’t give this town money or resources to make their life better, I know I can give them hope, love and a prayer. I believe God has the power to change this city and the hearts that long to know something better.
