A letter to (Remember) Nhu

I am completely and utterly blown away by how much God loves me. How He allows me to see through His eyes. How He allows me to love as He loves. How He calls me His 'son'. How He pulls me from my past sin and struggle and turns the ashes into beauty again through redemption. I know there's so much that is still be learned in my walk with God, but to be walking in the consistency of confidence in Him is the most freeing experience I've ever had in my life.

This month, my team has been working with the children at Remember Nhu. It wasn't a coincidence. Simply put, they touched me. They touched me at my core. More than they will ever realize. Going into Thailand, I never would have thought that giggles and high pitch screams would move me as much as they have. In each face, I never once saw a child not good enough to love, but I saw a perfect creation made in His image to His likeness.

I can't begin to say how hard it'll be for me to leave tomorrow, but I know that what I will take with me will serve as a cornerstone for my future. A foundation to love the people I meet from this point forward better because of it. The freedom and authority I walk in now will change the lives of those around me forever.

Not knowing how to process this month at all, especially after I wrote THIS BLOG, I decided to write a letter to the children who impacted me…

From the moment I came across your beautiful faces, you began to redefine how I saw the living God.

You've done more for me than you will ever know. With that, I want to take a moment and thank you. As you read what follows, and find transcendence in the words, know that while I fell in love with every kid at Remember Nhu, this letter is specifically written for you alone.

In a month's time, you were able to shower me with an outpouring of love that is unlike anything I have ever felt. The words, “I love you”, which usually are so hard for me to let go of, seemingly flowed off my lips time and time again because of the love you showed me. With each laugh and smile, I found joy. A joy that I know will be the foundation that helps me love my family, friends, and own children better in the future. I'm lucky to have met you. You displayed for me what it means to be free. I can't express this in any other way that the tears that fall with each key-stroke. God has blessed my life with you being a part of it and I look forward to seeing you experience the journey that God inevitably lay in front of you. Your life will be forever etched into my heart.

I can't begin to express how sorry I am for your past. That there were times when it was dark and times when you were scared. Times when you wondered if the rain on the window was just the tears of God crying for you. I'm sorry you haven't been loved better in your past. I'm sorry that I couldn't love you more this month. But I do know I loved you the best I could and that I gave each day 100%. I pray that becomes what you expect. That the people in your life will give you everything they can. 

By the time you read this, I'll already be on my way to the next country in my travels. So seeing as how I won't be around to "annoy" you anymore, I thought I'd give you a list of things I wish for you.

Well, there's the obvious. Education, friends, and a family. I also want you to live an unexpected life. Travel. Travel to the ocean and the mountains when possible. Spend a lot of time there because the mountains and oceans force you to dream. And you, sweet child, you're going to be a dreamer. I want you to believe. Believe in others and the goodness inside them. Believe in yourself and the understanding that you can do absolutely anything you put your mind to. And believe in God. Believe that you're exactly where you are because God loves you so much and has a beautiful plan laid out for your life. I promise if you believe, it'll keep you warm at night, and I want you to always feel safe.

Love is the most important thing in life. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers. Whatever you find love in, please don't run from it. But don't chase it either. Be patient and love will come upon you when you least expect it, like you, like spending the last month of my life with the sweetest and most joyful kids in the world.

I can promise you when I have children, I'll love them like you deserve to be loved every day of your life. I know I can make this promise because of the love of the Father in me. This month and being with you has taught me more than I'll ever be able to fully explain to you. The love God blessed me with through you this month stirred my emotions and touched my soul. In doing it, you gave me His heart.