“Every little thing she does is magic…every little thing she does is magic, magic, magic”
It’d be an understatement to say I’ve been blown away.
Blown away by the goodness of the Lord, how He lavishes me with His love and how He took so much joy at my potential obedience when He died on the cross.
Squad leading looks completely different than my original Race. But the one constant is this: being intentional is key and if I pursue people with the purpose of love, it’s hard not to see fruit.
As I’ve been in India for a little over two weeks now, I’m traveling around visiting teams and getting to join in the ministries that the teams I’m with are a part of.
This is a letter to one of the kids at the special needs orphanage I’ve been able to serve at this week.
Dear NJ,
From the split second I came across your cute little face, you began to redefine how I see the living Father.
In just a short days, you’ve done more for me than you will ever know, sweet girl. As someone reads you this one day, and you find transcendence in the words that follow, know that while I’ve fallen in love with every person I’ve met in India so far, this letter is specifically written for you and you alone.
In the hours we’ve spent together, you were able to show me an outpouring of love that is unlike anything I’ve felt before. The words, “I love you”, which can be so hard to let go of at times, seemingly flow off my lips time and time again because of the love you have shown me.
With each giggle, dance move, and smile…I found joy. A joy that I know will help me continue to love on the Squad that the Lord has blessed me to be with over these next five months. I’m lucky to have met you, NJ. Every second I’m with you, you’ve displayed what it means to be free. God has blessed my life with you being a part of it and I look forward to seeing you experience the journey that God will inevitably lay in front of you.
NJ — your life will forever be etched into my heart.
I can’t begin to describe how much I’m sorry for your past. That there were times when it was dark and I know you were scared. I’m sorry you haven’t been loved better and I’m honestly sorry that I couldn’t love you more over the past couple days.
But I do know I loved you the best I could and in the moments when I held your hand, sang Ray LaMontagne and read you the book of Ruth in funny voices.
That in those times it was the Father telling you how loved you really are. And Nellie, I pray that you become expectant in desiring that love and that each person you meet and comes into your life from this point forward would give you 100% of their heart. Because you, my sweet girl, you deserve the very best.
While my time here is ending, there are a few things that I do wish for you.
There’s the obvious: that you’d enjoy your friends in your room and that you’d be able to look at them as your family. That you’d be able to use your hands and you’d be able to vocalize your thoughts and feelings. That you’d gain strength in your body and be able to sit up without assistance.
It’s my wish that when you look outside and go for walks with the helpers you have that the Lord would blow you away with the colors, shapes and noises. I want you to spend as much time as possible outside because nature forces you to dream. And you, you’re going to be a dreamer.
I want you to believe. Believe in others and the goodness inside them. Believe in yourself and know without a doubt that you can do absolutely anything, NJ.
And believe in Jesus.
Believe that you’re exactly where you are because He loves you so much and has such a beautiful plan for your life. I promise you this, if you believe, it’ll keep you warm at night. And I always want you to feel safe and warm.
Love is the most important thing you can ever experience, Nellie Jo.
I want you to love to the tips of your fingers. Whatever you find love in, don’t run from it. But don’t chase it either. Be patient and love will come upon you when you least expect it; like you, and spending the last week with the sweetest and most joyful six year old in the world.
I can promise you when the Lord blesses me with kids, I’ll love them like you deserve to be loved every day of your life. I know I can make this promise because of the love of the Father inside me. The past few days have taught me more than I’ll ever be able to fully explain to you. The love that Jesus has blessed me with through you has stirred emotions deep within and touched my soul.
Nellie Jo, you imparted His love to me.
As this journey the Lord has me on last for several more months, I am blown away at the potential of what God has in store for me. I will never be the same because you were you. This isn’t goodbye, just a see ya later. Which is how the Kingdom works. It’s constant “hellos” and “see ya later’s” all the while receiving and sending people in this beautiful realization that you’re never alone and there’s always going to be an abundance of love.
There’s no thoughts, no measure, and no words that can fully capture the elation that your beauty and joy threw at me, NJ.
Keep giggling and holding onto the goodness around you.
It’s everywhere — because He’s everywhere.
I love you as I write this, and I love you as you read this.
-k
Squad leading T-Squad has already been one of the most life changing experiences of my life. Walking alongside this group has been so beautiful and the way they shower me [and everybody] with love and grace is something that has completely reshaped how I see Jesus.
Being able to invest and pour into them is one of the greatest honors of my life and I couldn’t thank you all for the support and love that you, my readers, have given me as I continue to be able to do this life that He’s called me to.
I still have funds that I need to raise [$6500 total]– not only to stay on the field, but so that I’ll be able to come back out for a couple weeks and encourage and love on these sweet lovers of Jesus.
If you want to be able to join and partner up with me, you can do so by CLICKING HERE. Any and all donations are tax-deductible and help me continue to be out loving the least of these.
