“Embrace uncertainty. Some of the most beautiful chapters in our lives won’t have a title until much later”
During my preparation for the World Race I saw this Facebook status by one of my WR coaches, Ruanne. It struck me and brought me peace amidst the chaos before this journey: this idea of seeing beauty in the madness.
The two months before my World Race began I was struggling, no matter what I did, I never felt as though I was making progress. My anxiety escalated and I began to feel less and less like myself.
Facing the reality of leaving your daily life and those you love for 11 months is a hard reality to accept. Doubts entered my mind about my ability to go on the race.
Was I strong enough?
If everyday life stressed me out, how would I handle doing ministry?
Do I know enough about the Bible?
Am I strong enough in my faith to disciple others?
Will I make friendships?
Can I handle constant community?
All lies I began to believe.
Everyday I battled with the reality of launching in August. It seemed like it was an hourglass quickly running out of sand, everything slipping through my fingers no matter how hard I fought.
I reached out to a dear friend and she spoke truth into my life.
She validated my anxieties, giving me the freedom to feel what I needed to. This is not a usual path in life, thus it will not elicit usual emotions.
She also encouraged me to press into this time of difficultly and see what it has to teach me, just like I will over the next 11 months.
I chose to keep pushing and stay on the path God called me to.
He doesn’t wait until we are ready, because I could never be ready for the ways He will work in my life and of those I meet in the next 10 months.
I have said yes to a season of heartbreak, true joy, community, growth, love, grief, goodbyes, and most importantly, God.
Because of this I also say yes to embracing uncertainty. The chapters without a name, whose impact I won’t know until the page has turned.
One thing I am sure of is the promise of a beautiful story about to be written. God is the author and I am just a part of his masterpiece, called to pull in the stars of the show and invite them to begin their own story.
